crownn.lyiife

2007-12-01T20:08:00.000+08:00

iit iis been a long tyiime iie do exercise. went for morning jogginqq andd now iie am healinqq. iie am achinq all overr. poor miie. went home sleep andd dhenn joyce and chiuhwa came overr. hadd a lot orff fun talkinqq. iie diin see joyce forhh a lonqq tyiime, andd she change alorrt. but owaes dhat pretty. hees. was talkinqq crpas andd bout our life now. so happy dhenn. will wanna see dhemm more andd go out gai gai. hees. miiss them dearlyy. =)

2007-11-24T11:53:00.000+08:00

5 days nvr post. was out till late andd was so tiredd. went to far east, nxt dayy went to city plaza and bugis. todayy will be headinqq to sentosa to have funn. later goingg hougang findd alicia mei. hees. iie miiss her lorts andd nvr see herr forhh a lonqq tyiime lerhh. will upload photos soon. !!~

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO:

BEEQI - 20NOV
ALICIA MEI - 22nd NOV
ERIC'S MUMMY - 23 NOV

HAPPY 2ND MONTH WIITH DADDIIE.!!
lovee uue tons, =)

2007-11-19T20:18:00.000+08:00

todayy beinqq a good gurl at home.10.21am woke up andd hadd a cup of milo andd start doinqq housechores. dhen ended at arndd 5pm andd went to have a showerr. cool. took a nap andd slept forr awhile, granny wake me up. recieved chiuhwa's sms. =) dhen call dear up to talk to him awhile.been a tirinqq dayy forhh miie. =)

tmr going dance forhh sure. hees. dhenn go change moneyy andd will have to go print photos. dearr sayy will come to fetch miie after school. yeappiie!!!! dhen, ke qian tmr cominqq singapore.!!! can't waiit iit will be tmr soon, so that cann see my belove DADDIIE!!!

2007-11-17T22:12:00.000+08:00

earlyy morninqq woke up byy mummyy.
go to blk 300+ andd hade our breakfast. hadd chickenn riice. andd iit was a BIG plate.
go to library loan some books.
dhen went home andd continue sleepinqq.
at arndd 12.30pm went to sleep till 3.30pm

daddiie went out wiith frenns.
so iit was a bored bored dayy for miie. hees.

yesterdayy went to tampines wiithh mei to fiindd daddiie.
went to eat andd headd to daddiie's house. =)
stayy dhere awhile andd went off to wild wild wet.
guess iit has been a long tyiime iie andd myy mei get togetherr andd have funn.
went backk to dearr house at 6.30pm liidatt.
mei played the computerr iin daddiie's room,
miie andd daddiie at there watch tv. =)
later night, hadd our dinner andd celebratedd daddiie's xiao mei bdayy.
cabbed home andd reachh woodlands arndd 9.30pm.
tiredd dayy.~ sweets

2007-11-14T20:50:00.000+08:00

iie love uue daddiie.wanna be wiith uue forhh everyydayy.iie am so sorry that iie couldnt spend alot of time with uue now.but iie noe for the nxt ten to 60 years, we would be spending our lives andd joys togetherr.dear, wo ai ni. iie am sorry forh wad iie have saiid earlier.iie diin mean dhat.

LIEN JUN CAI, 我爱你!!!

2007-11-11T22:32:00.000+08:00

我知道我的幸福快乐, 没有人能和我的幸福快乐做比较.
我很爱你老公..

2007-11-06T20:29:00.000+08:00

went to take 168 to daddiie's uncle funeral.
nth to do but just stayy dhere..
drink water andd help burnn some joss papers.
dhen awhile got ppl take over lerhh.

afternoon,took cab andd go to daddiie's house.
daddiie's dad,mum, er mei and xiao mei were about to go out.
daddiie's dad ask miie whether wanna eat not,
so iie sayy ok.

hadd curry forhh our lunch as hiis family members went for the funeral.
hanwei kepp callinqq to daddiie's house.
but nvr pick up some of the calls. =Xx

lala. dhen rush to housing board development ][HBD][
forhh season parkinqq at tamp.
went backk to the funeral there andd
met up wiith crystalle, hanwei , severin andd hiis steadd
dhen stayy dhere awhile.
severin andd the steadd went off.
dhen zhi kai came afterwards.
went off arndd 7pm when ask mummy come fetch me.
was so tiredd. feel like fallinqq aslp. =()yawns*

jumpinqq onto myy pillow &&
sleepinqq earlyy tonight
afterr iie hadd finishh myy dance. =)

2007-11-05T17:13:00.000+08:00

well welli,
it iis a sadd thingyy that daddiie's uncle hadd
just peacefully passed away todayy.
REST IN PEACE.

ytrd was angryy wiif daddiie,
thot that he lied to miie.
fiine now lerhh.

went to buy season parking for mummy.
dhen daddiie came along
((forhh wadd iie oso dunnoe))
tmr maybe going to pay a respect to daddiie's uncle.
haiis. feel sadd forhh daddiie andd hiis familyy members.

weee. tmr dance.
last week miiss iit,
goiingg forh iit tmr.
will be seeing myy baobeiis andd shweettiies. <33
miiss dhem andd lovess dhem.

2007-11-04T16:25:00.000+08:00

suddenlyy feel dhat everythinqq iis so different iin this relationshiip.
iie wonderr do he still love miie like before.??
hiis care oso fade awayy..
am iie beinqq paranoidd.??
iie feel trapped,
iin myy own feelinqqs.

2007-10-30T17:26:00.000+08:00

ARGGHH.. everythingg just come by the wayy..
iit iis all iin a MESS!!!!

worrying this andd that-
daddiie the stuffs: hiis academic stuffs. GRRR.
myy studiies.

FUCK!!!!
mood swing lately.. andd feel like quarreling wiif sumone.
feel so damn angryy andd sad at the same tyiimes.
haiis..

nxt yr O leve lerhh. must reli jiiayou.
but iie just can't studyy.!!!!!!
fan bout this or thatt. gagaga.
dun think so mucch lerhh..
must cheer upp!!!! =D

lovess everyone arndd miie.hees.
daddie, dunn giive upp.!!!
iie will owaes be here.kk.??
iie love uue

2007-10-24T20:21:00.000+08:00

todayy iis our 1 month togetherr.
nxt tyiime goiinqq to count byy yearrs lerhh. =)

todayy went to hougang there for the super bowling wiith the school.
][the SEP thingy][
iit was funn.
firstly, iit was so embarrassed.
but after awhile iit was funn!!

crystalle played well, same goes to lynette andd beeqi.
miie the worse score. haas. =Xx

went causeway to meet hiim,
went to eat andd went to print photos.
dhen after that bout a couple handdphone strapp.
iit was cute. =D

went home after dhat,
was so tiredd dhat iie went home jiiu slp,
andd nvr went for myy piano lesson.

HAPPY 1 MONTH togetherr.
we will be countinqq years nxt tyiime.

2007-10-23T20:01:00.000+08:00

earlyy morning feelinqq dizzyy andd wantinqq to faiint.
mayybe bcuz iie diin eat mucch andd dhen become lidat.
iie was so afraidd that iie mayy just fall off liidat,
quickly wake up from bedd arndd 5am andd have some bites of food,..
andd slowlyy, recover-ED. pheww.

diin went to sch todayy.
run out of sch andd went to find daddiie.
daddiie woke up early morning.
went to is house andd sleep.
wake up hiis mummy cook fried prawnn noodle. ][yummiie][
the fried prawn noodle was nice. =)

arndd 3 plus went to buy bubble tea andd hersheyy.
come backk hiis home andd watchh cartOOn wiith hiis xiao mei.
dhen his mummy show miie hiis shweet childhood album.
he's so cute andd chubby.
so different from now lurhh. hees.
but still love hiim manyy orff cuz no matter wadd.

went home arndd 4.30pm.
was feeling nausea andd having slight migraine.
took cabby home wiith daddiie.
went home jiiu continue slp lerhh. <33

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AYUNIE!

2007-10-21T20:32:00.000+08:00

3day 3 night iin malaysia. <fun>

1st night-

reachh arndd 9pm.
went out at 9.30pm lidat to eat prawn nooodles.
10pm went to the bus-stop.
nvr see properly andd fall down 1 step from the stairs. (stuPIG)
went to the nearby pub there.
11pm, went home andd bathe.
use computer andd watch tv.
slpt arndd 1am.

2nd day-

wake up at 7.48am. cuz can't sleep liiao.
layy on the bedd till 10am lidat jiu wake up le.
went forr shopping at plaza pelangi andd to city square.
bout myyself a clothes andd dearr a pants.
bought a BIG lollipop forhh dearr too. =)
came backk home anrdd 5pm andd rest.
at 8pm, went out to buy pizza. yumyum
so full andd rest afta dhat.
use the com and watch taiwan drama series (18禁不禁) till 1am oso.

3rd day-

woke up at 1pm. went out at 2 or 3pm.
went to holiday plaza to do pedicure andd iit cost RM51.
went home after dhat,
at 6-7pm, uncle brought us out to eat.nice nice. =)
went home arndd 9pm.
9pm, went out to sagittarius cafe.
open arndd 10 beers.
driink onlyy 1 cup jiu abit giddy liiao. (( not a good liquor holder. =P))
smoke arndd 7 or more sticks while talkingg. [[regrettedd]]
have manny funs.. LAST NIGHT LE.
went home arndd 11pm-12am.?
took cabby home andd bathe.
use the com andd tok to laogong andd watch tv afta that,
slp arndd 2.54am. damn tiredd. yawns*

4th day-

woke up at 12.43pm.
ate nasi lemak andd watch tv.
hadd a bath andd pack things lo.
went backk to sg.
andd iit was myy first tyiime taking bus backk!!!
iie was abit gong gong,
aiya, anyything oso will have the first tyime marhs. (凡是都有第一次嘛)
was abit crowded, myy bag was heavy andd got to carry and carry.
got so iirritatedd by those ppl. push push push,
no sales going on wadd, pushh wadd thing,?
reachh singapore at 2.30pm.

phewww. was happy.
iin msiia oso happy lurhh. =)

19th OCTOBERR:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY LIHONG
HAPPY BIRTHDAY QINGQING BAOBEII

2007-10-18T19:35:00.000+08:00

goinqq msia soon lerhh.
will soon miiss daddiie derh lurhh.
sometyimes will just be worriedd that betrayal comes iin.
nvrm, iie TRUST hiim.

goinqq dhere buy lorrts orff things. heehee.
ii love uue daddie,
iie miiss uue.

2007-10-16T19:49:00.000+08:00

老公,不要难过。。。不会有事的。

thnks laogonqq forhh buyinqq miie a HUGE turtle forhh myy bdayy. =)
but dun everr spendd so muchh moneyy alrytes.??
ii love uue.

thnks to 3 prsn that msg miie nicelyy 12am just to sayy happy birthdayy to me:

laogong
cheng kiat
wei qi (slyvia)

thnks guys, uue all rre shweet.
ayunie, thanks forhh ur shwweet chocolate,~ =) lovess
andd nvr thot that sheng long will still rmbr myy biirthday- thank uue agaiin to hiim. =)
those who had celebratedd forhh miie, another BIG thank uue to uue too!~
overall just happy bahh.

iie love uue daddiie,
ii'll owaes be here whenever uue need miie. muackks.

2007-10-12T20:23:00.000+08:00

今天放学时间是12.15pm。
可是我和jessica自己在十一点就放学了。哈哈
马来人十点就可以回家，在走出学校的那一分钟我们成了chinese muslim. 《笑》

过后我和JESSICA到CAUSEWAY POINT，
遇到一个恶心的人和他的男朋友。《吐》
老公然后来找我们，一起去吃MOSBURGER。。
吃到饱饱。。

陪老公，就回家了。
离开他那么一下子我就很想他了。。
回家就睡觉，好累啊！！

明天就要回马来西亚了。
我会一直挂念他每分每秒。~~

昨天是干妈的生日，
我们去大吃。好饱也是。

the chocalate cake. yummiies.

DORIS GODMA HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

2007-10-10T20:45:00.000+08:00

想你！想你！好想你哦！！！
明天可以看到你咯。。。
哇！！如果每一天都能够见面，那该有多好。。
可惜，你和我住的地方差那么远。。。
你来到这里很远，我有点不喜欢。。
多么希望你住我家隔壁而已。。嘻嘻

今天与妈妈去买东西。
因为这个星期六要到小舅家庆祝外公的生日。。
老公的生日刚好这个星期六，所以不能陪他了。《对不起，老公》

今天也玩了一个新游戏。。。
老公也陪我玩。只有两个字形容-无聊。。。
但是一时新鲜吧！

学完钢琴，回家时，
看见前男有-政炜-- 衰衰衰
恶心！！

2007-10-09T13:11:00.000+08:00

happy + happy + happy + happy= extremee HAPPY. ;)

考试最后一天了 <<笑>>
看到了考卷 <<慌>>

他在学校外面等我;我却不知道 <<笑>>
他和我一起去吃PASTAMANIA <<饱>>
一起走回家 <<累>>
发生一些事；糟糕 <<羞>>
心跳加速 <<跑>>

疯了啦!!! 为他而疯。。。

gagaga... tmr goinqq out wiith mummyy. =)

2007-10-08T11:14:00.000+08:00

lala. got a SHOCK when look at the chemistry paperr.
iit was EASIER than wadd iie thot. ;D
but hope cann giive iit a PASS. [[at least]]
MCQs were qutie easyy,
but the calculations and construct equation
i CONFIRM lose marks.
cuz iin that iie totally dunnoe anyythinqq derhh. ;'( waawaa.
tmr biology, dhat one oso another subject dhat iie must BUCKUP,,,

heardd somethinqq from stalle,
that makes me wonderr. hmms...
iis he hidinqq or lyinqq to miie.??/
or am iie too negative.??
anyywayy, iis not that iie dun allow,
whiie he nvr tell miie,,??
or he dunn evenn wann to sayy anyythinqq.
promise to be truthful,
but iit doesn't seems iit iis.
but iin the endd,
iit was hiim personally tell miie when iie ask hiim...
he cann smoke as he like,
but iie dun encourage it to be oftenn.
please. iie dun want anyy lies iin this relationshiip.
cann.??

iie love daddiie.
but iie hope there wun be lies iin this relation kkays.?

2007-10-06T21:48:00.000+08:00

我恋爱了!!!!
感觉只有一个字形容我的心情=爽=
我爱他!我爱他!我爱他!我爱他!我爱他!我爱他!我爱他!我爱他!我爱他!
很想很想他...
想每一秒,每一分钟都陪这他,
看着他睡觉...
觉得自己已经要疯了!!!
为他疯狂.!!!! 啊!!

studyy chemistryy from 4pm till 10pm.
studyy still chapter 7 onlyy. still got more.
till chapter 18.. ='(
iie can't fail myy chemistryy..
Mr heng expect we at least to get a B4.
andd iie promise myyselff iie will andd cann do iit.

MADLY IN LOVE WIITH LIEN JUN CAI
he's myy one andd onlyy.
the last guyy iie everr gonna met & be wiiff. ;)
once againn;; iie love uue daddiie.

2007-10-05T15:07:00.000+08:00

gees. anotherr week just pass byy.
andd iit will be anotherr week iie be wiif daddiie lerhh. ;)

exams forhh miie iis supper stress lurhh.
not stress laa. iis just dhat, iie am CONFIDENT iie will fail muchh orff myy subjects.
iie dunn wanna drop to NA stream or even retained lurhh.
iie look so down uponn myself;;
WHIE CAN'T IIE BE LIKE OTHERS.??!!
whie am iie so stupiidd.??!!

just now went to eat sakae sushi wiif daddyy, crystalle andd hanwei.
full iis full larhhs. cost S$53 lurhh.
poor daddyy hadd to payy.
dhenn daddyy bought miie a babyy turtle soft toyy.
iie lurrve uue daddiie.!!

iie foundd myy TRUE love.
andd iie wanna be wiith hiim FOREVERR till no everr.
beinqq MRS LIEN.. myy occupation 10yrs downn the roadd.[[iidiotic]]
heehee.foundd myy stable relationshiipp,
andd iie gonna score well forhh biology andd chemistry liiao.
jiayou jiayou!! iie noe iif iie have the will to move on,
iie can do iit.!!!!

iie love uue daddiie.
<240907>

gurl turtle;boyy turtle

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HONG YI. ;)

2007-09-25T21:37:00.000+08:00

boohoohoo!!!
wiif daddiie backk togtherr agaiin..
lantern festival he gave miie a box of kiitty mooncakes.
that's niice orff hiim. =D
thou iie sometiimes thiink he iis abiit of attitude,
but as lonqq as there iis love between us,
doesn't matter liiao.

iie promiise iie will stayy wiithh uue,
go thru thick andd thinn wiith uue..
cuz myy harrt belonqqs to uue lerhh..

iie dunnwanna care what kiids out there gonna sayy;
as lonqq iit doesn't make miie feel a pinchh of paiin..

talk to jess baobeii;
iie dunnwanna her to feel sadd.
just wanna her happy happy.
iie want all myy beloves to be cheerful.
iie will be there forhh her OWAYS. heehee.

went home wiith jaslynn.
she kinda cute at tyiimes. iie harrt herr muchh too.
well, some ppl cnt get alonqq,
dun take iit to harrt,
just take wadd she sayy are onlyy nonsense. =P

LCD wass funn. =))
mr heng was funniie && CUTE.??
got sing-alonqq sessiion
andd tok lame jokes.
SPONGE BOB SQUARE PANTS,!!

gotta studyy hard hardd,
startinqq rev durinqq this dayys..
JIA YOU to all those takinqq EOY soon.
all the BEST,, =)

2007-09-21T16:56:00.000+08:00

haiis. dunnoe wadd's happeninqq.!!
damn iit. mayybe uue so liike to tell the DM, go lurhh.
no one threatenn uue,
no one wans to beat uue up orr wadd.
creatinqq own stories to frighten urself niia.

iie now thiink backk, yea.
iit iis better that sometyms we dunn ask outsiders to come in
when problems are onlyy among ourselves.
heehee. nthh happenn.
went out wiif jess andd yokiie dheyy all.
fun afterall. =)
took neo prints andd went home afterr dhat..
havinqq stomach cramp.. =/

feel liike cryinqq.
dunnoe whiie he givinqq miie attitude.
he diid apologize.
iie am xiao qi iie noe..
but iie dunnoe whiie jus feel like cryinqq.
iie admitt.
iie love hiim alorrt noww.
but just wanna waiit till my EOY finished
dhen iit will mainly depends on myy results.
but, iie do love uue.

2007-09-19T16:19:00.000+08:00

everyythinqq iis okayy now,
iie guess so..
tiime to peace myyselff and relaxx.
enuff orff nonsense
nxt fridayy EOY liiao. gotta buck up,
otherwise iie will be retaininqq or dropinqq stream..
iif thiiss iis happeninqq,
no lyiife forrhh miie lerhh. haiiss.
guess iit iis tiime from banninqq myself from the computer.
otherwise, wheneverr iie siit on the chair,
iie will be liike a computerr addict.
wun get myy butt off.
pheww.

iie dunnoe whiie some ppl habb nth to do,
liike to stare andd dhen give stupiidd sentence like="he/she stare miie"...
eeee. who stare who.??
aiyaa. bunchh orff kiidds.
dunn think uue got ppl behindd or iin sch we rre scaredd.
the scaredy cat iis uue, not us.
uue come iin gang thiis shows how cowardd uue all rre.
dunwanna sayy muchh bout those ppl.. COOL down.

pinninnqq myy hopes on where.??
NOWWHERE.. iie dunnoe wad's happeninqq.
can't get things straight.
can't get myy butt to sit on the chair andd studyy.
whiie am iie slackinqq.
see books iie feel like slpinqq. haiiyo.
no good results, mum wun let me out.
PROVE myself dhat iie cann do iit.
iie noe mum iis doinqq us good.
IIE WILL DO WELL.

2007-09-18T18:24:00.000+08:00

STUPID HUMAN BEINGS!!! iie dare to sayy iit infront orff uue, whiie not uue dare andd say iit in front of miie sayingg iie am a SLUT.??? cowardds.!!! iie dare on uue!! fuck,cheebye is all uue noe how to say izzit??!!! sayy iit iinfront orff miie, not behindd myy backk.. iie dun nniidd uue to comment on miie. PUHLESE,, at least grow up cann.?? thiinkk!!! uue are 16 yrs old liiao... get something to do.. iie dun wiish to scold here andd there && get irritated byy ur face wheneverr iie see uue. byy thiis week iif uue rre not goiing to apologize andd promise to giive miie a peace life iin this school or iie make sure iie can make iit worse than wadd uue think!!! iie cann take we nvr knew each other before && afterr.. iie cann choose to giive uue peace or hell. uue choose andd thinkk. iie make myy everyy single wordds come true. I SWEAR. andd there iis nth to do wiith hiim, uue dun niid to thiink he side miie, andd dun giive hiim ur attitude.

stress up byy studiies, irrtatedd byy human beings iin our skuel. wiish to calm down, but the wordd slut just can't TAHAN.

2007-09-14T17:44:00.000+08:00

aiiyyaa. whiich eva dogg BARKING, cats MEOWING
- simplyy no tyiime forhh that.
wadd the doggiies liike to do,
iit's the dog business, none of miine.
cheers forhh the peace. =)
iif theyy were just too attract myy attention,
orr simplyy makinqq miie PISS OFF,
do iit dhenn.. fiirst of all, iie am not goiing to botherr AT ALL.
cuz those dogs are too childiishh,
bark inside the cage waiting to be freed. iie care.??
-NO- NOT AT ALL.

school was okayy todayy..
stalle nvrr come andd got to go wiith baobeii-jess.heehee.
heardd some unhappiness problems orff herr.
but just wan to let myy baobeii noe, chel is always there for uue.
be happy.

for uue baobeii:
count urr joys insteadd orff urr woes;
count urr friends insteadd orff urr foes.
count urr smile iinsteadd orff urr tears;
count urr courage insteadd orff ur fears.
count urr health insteadd of ur wealth;
love people beside uue as much as yourselff.
SMILE alwayys kkays.?? uue rre a sweet liitle babe orff miine.=)
endd.

well, learniinqq tuh look things wiith a positive manner.
wad eva shiit are gonna thrown away.
take everyday as a gift to live,
uue'll nvr noe when we are going to die.
appreciate every moment.
achieve the things that we want,
share the love between each otherr.
love is uncountable.
a hug strengthens the bonds between the one uue love,
a kiiss build the trust uue gave.
a heartwarming smile makes one feel secure.
smiile wiide andd let people noe,
iie am happy without anyy hatredd.
iie groww iin love, not iin hate.
iie grow wiith happiness not iin sadness.
myy liife cann be simple andd dull,
but it's onlyy the wayy iie live iit.

iif whoevaa wanna hate, go aheadd.
building up hatredd iis onlyy building up a stone iin ur hartt.
iie wanna let everythingg FREE.
myy harrt iis free to tryy out anyythingg,
and accept thinqqs which were once impossible,
humans are humans.
what the other can do, we too can achieve.

2007-09-12T15:37:00.000+08:00

iie learnn to move on by moving myy feet one by one to the front.
iie learn to be strong with the help of frens. thnks.

and special thanks to dogs there barking. quarrel with hiim.
actually, iie guess he had like othr ppl liiao,
just tat no one says. fine wiif miie dhen.=)

preparing hardd forhh myy EOY,
andd there iie go. =)

2007-09-07T10:15:00.001+08:00

SORT out life,, andd iie thiink dhat everyything should start anew. whiie cling onto things that are hurtin.?? heehee.
now, just concentrate on myy studiies andd forget about the unhappiness. wanna be myself backk and nothingg lerhh. =)

tuesdayy went to ktv, sing out loudd andd at there jumpiinn. loves myy bitchess.=] uue gurls rox myy worldd. heehee/

2007-08-28T18:14:00.000+08:00

rAcHeL sux!!!
dhat's miie alrytes.?
readdinqq bout the last few months post, andd how iie wiish tyiime would turnn bacckk.

iie guess iie diin let hiim* go..
iie guess iie stiill harrt hiim*.
iie diin mean to hurt anyyone.
iie onlyy noe how to act brave on the outside,
but wheneverr iie see hiim*, iie relii feel soft.
iie can't expect muchh thing to happenn..

iie stupidly askk myyselff, "do iie still harrt hiim*.??"
iie myyself oso can't answerr.
he* treatedd miie veryy well last tyiime,
andd iie diin go notice or EVEN take a little tyime to figure out.
iie took ALL hiis* love forhh grantedd. asshole chel

iie dunnoe how to tell juncai..
iie dunnoe wadd to sayy.. PRETEND**
how iie wiish iie nvrr hadd the thot of beingg backk wiif eric that tyiime.
how iie wiish he* iis still by myy side.
the feeliing iis just badd without hiim*..

can he* still hear miie sayyinqq :"iie love uue.??"
iie noe he* hadd let go orff this relationshiip,
he* sees nothingg iin iit anyymore.
he* feel fuck up wiith me thiis kiind orff gurl.
a gurl who dunnoe how to treasure andd cherishh.

whyy waddeva somebody orr someone do something,
iie kiinda remindd orff hiim*.?
am iie too iinto hiim* or wadd.??

last tyiime, diid he* took iit as a revenge,?
or he* just feel happy iif ii were to cryy overr hiim* agaiin.

MY attitude SUX.! giivinqq myy attitude to juncaii,
he doesn't deserve iit, well, iie have no rights to do iit too..

sheddinqq tears everyy night,
RACHEL SUX! ][ iie wiishh he* could call miie one dayy][

2007-08-26T10:14:00.000+08:00

went to AMK hub to do myy ezlink. dearr peii miie alongg. after that went to watch dead silence. okok larhhx the show. watchh till quite late dhen went home. bought another 3 tickets for the show 881 at 10pm. woahh the fiiliing was almost full. but ah tek, renee andd miie managed to get a "better" seat.=) siiann.. someone bday nearingg, confused on wad to buyy.. =))

2007-08-24T09:39:00.000+08:00

siiann.. got send backk home forhh myy hair colorr.
actually today oso dun feel like comingg school, cuz so tiredd.
the main periods were chemistry buddhen mr heng nvr come, so iie guess iie lose nth important todayy. =>
wahh~~ happy. home now.
maybe meetingg weilong korr laterr. =)

2007-08-23T17:07:00.000+08:00

1 more month to END OF YEAR.. yeahh should pull up my socks by noww..
sadd that iie diin do well forhh myy common test2 even thou iie put lortts of efforts inside.
humanities iie scoredd-72/100
biology-14/20 (FAIL)
chemistry-6/15 (FAIL)
physics-18/34( (pass by only 1 mark)
chinese-47/80
e maths-29/40
a maths-6/34(FAIL)

quiite depressed noww. tryiinqq tuh relax andd calm myself down but iit seems helpless at all.
guys, thnks forhh encouragingg miie to work hard andd helpp miie iin my studiies. =)

anyywayy, sometimes iie fiind people quiite childishh.. uue noe those "dogs".!!
best that they are GONE afterr their n lvls. =>

iis reliie iin a relationship affectinqq myy results andd studiies.?? haiiss.. aiminqq to scare 4 As iin myy report this yrr. wanna score A iin phyics, e maths, a maths and chemistry..

smiile.. iie noe there iis 4 groups of people surroundiinqq miie always and forever- family, friends boyfren and dearest GOD. =>

2007-08-20T16:17:00.000+08:00

people like talkinqq back. let dhemm. iie care.? NOPE.
iie got myy guyy to love, andd iie wiill.
gave elnaa a crown rubber band andd a handphone accessoriies.=)
niice.. love love hiim

2007-08-11T20:20:00.001+08:00

dear andd miie 1 month lo. heehee. lovess hiim manyy manyy,

thou cannot peii hiim muchh.. studyinqq hardd forhh common test. when holidayys dhen peii hiim more. =)

cut myy haiir andd iis super short and uglyy. iie regretted. add colors on myy haiir where iit doesn't match too.. BORINGG.. wanna wiith hiim forreverr. muackks dear. uue rre MINE.=P

2007-08-09T16:00:00.000+08:00

duunoe wadd happenn.. ytrdd wake up not feeliinqq well. feeliinqq itchyy all overr.. went to see doctor at CWP- raffles medical dhere. doctor say maybe allergy or insect bites.andd iit started spreadinqq myy whole bodyy.. went forhh an injectionn andd feel muchh betterr. doctorr sayy iif the jab doesn't work, must be send to the hospital.that freak me OUT.

the injection make me feel sleepyy andd went bedd earlyy.. haiishh.. that's all.. unluckyy dayy,

2007-08-08T12:31:00.000+08:00

dance performance was okayy.. but iie diid a huge mistake byy laughiinqq on the stage.. iie should habb been serious. heehee.

actually todayy nothinqq bahh.. happyy that no niid go school till nxt week.. but iit will be the start orff the common test week liiao.. tiredd..

ourr make up SUX.. not onliie iie sayy.. people COMMENT-edd. kwok hwee was one orff dhemm.. haiiyo. iit wiil l SOPIL myy face usingg those CHEAP makeups.

a big applause forrhh jessiica baobeii.. uue hurt ur legs 2 days ago, yet uue still dance.. =) happy dayy.!!

2007-08-07T20:56:00.000+08:00

quiite tiredd todayy, dunnoe whyy.. slept earlyy last niite, but still.. DOZE off iin class. iit was LCD-Contact Time periiods, iie sleep, yet mr heng nvr woke me up.=P guess iie am relii lack of slpiinqq. actually,past few nites iie was having insomnia.

after school,went forhh dance practice. iit was okayy,, but because the some seniors (exclude beeqi,sin le && me) scolded dhem, some cryy.. haiiyo.. dance performance is tmrr,, so we scold just to let uue all noe the urgencyy.. we diin wan to also.. but.. iie hope dhey wiill tryy their BEST tomolo. good luckk..

Briana is CUTE.!! iie love herr.. herr voiice was sweet too.. heehee. muchh muchh love herr.heehee.=P... Jacqueline is sweet also.. love both orff dhemm.. love myy qingren-jesslyn..
uue all rre the BEST...

iie am reliie happy wiith wadd ii've have now. uue guys rre relii greatt.. =)

2007-08-04T14:42:00.001+08:00

todayy wake up veryy earlyy to go school forhh the speech day rehearsal.met ayuniie at interchange at 7.15am.. went take 901 to school. practice arndd the computer labb andd playy forhh a whiile..tiredd..

honestly, some sec 1(s) are haviinqq attitude problemms.(yeahh.. iie admiit iie was liidat last tyiime).. but went someone tell uue nicely, uue could have just listen and LESS complaints.!! the way we execute our dance totally suckx.!! damn.. but some sec 1(s) were sweet to miie.=) lovess.!!

finishh andd we went to have ourr lunchh at Mc Donald's wiith " Jessica, Ayunie, Shu Jie, Brenda && Sin Le." heehee. eat ALORT!! dhen the left over curry sauce all dhat we MIX.. andd playy games wiith dhatt,, the forfit was eat the fries wiith the "new" sauce we made.brenda so poor thinqq, eat the most. laugh liike freak liidatt.. hehee.jess went off earlier cuz she going somewhere,.. heehee.lovess jess-she iis myy baobeii!!! shu jie iis myy boiifrenn.=) heehee.muackkx to uue two.=)

2007-08-01T17:24:00.000+08:00

whyy do uue have to liie to miie.? sorryy, iie diin make uue liike thiis or wadd, iis uue urselff startedd iit. iie diin blame uue..,iie blamiinqq myselff forhh beiinqq a dummiie for the past few months dhat actuallyy iie am lovinqq a LIAR.? myy liife iis iin a total MESS! iie flunked most orff myy studiies ryte now, forhh dunnoe wadd reasons. andd iie left 2 or less months to cover up wadd iie niid to learn.iie am lackinqq behindd otherrs.

people iin myy liife which iie need to thnks when iie needed them, otherwise,iie will be iin myy coffin.:
juncai-forhh beiinqq dhere when iie am down. uue pull miie UP when iie needed someone to talk
&& thnks jessica, uue listen to myy problems andd givinqq miie advice, iie love uue lorrts andd do takkaiire orff urselff. =)
thnks jocelyn jiie-uue are the greatest!! forhh the clothes uue bought forhh miie andd givinqq miie a shoulderr to lennd on too.
weilong korr-waddeverr iie wan uue gave miie to ur best dhat uue cann do.iie noe sometimes iie mayy be harsh iin talkinqq to uue, but uue were still dhere hearinqq myy crappy stuff andd cooliinqq miie downn.
jacklyn, uue were dhere when iie needed uue too.. =)

2007-07-30T16:14:00.000+08:00

well, who doesn't want a life.? a simple andd realistic liife. iie hadd been dreaminqq forhh the past 2-3mths, where iie still dunnoe wadd the hell iie am thinkinqq. GOSHH. seeiinqq uue lookinqq so happy, iie guess uue are doiinq fiine. well, miie.? iie hadd a person who love miie alorrt, but iie just can't to accept the love orff hiis bcus iie hadd uue ALWAYS on myy miindd..

whyy do uue habb to appear iin my lyiife.?!! uue can easilyy forget miie, but iie can't. iie am tryiinqq real hardd tuh love that person, but myy hart iis always thinkinqq bout U. fcukk. iie don't even noe myself anymore.

iie noe dhat wadd iie have to do now iis studyy damn fcukinqq hard forhh my end of yr. iie hope that forhh ur N lvls uue will be doiinqq great.=) good forr uue, andd myy best wiishes. =D

DON'T see uue iis the best remedy to FORGET uue. iie wiill learn to.

iie hurt uue, andd uue hurt miie backk.. iie noe uue feel GREAT.

2007-07-26T20:03:00.000+08:00

todayy iis just a unhappy day forhh miie. whiies.? wadd diid iie do.?
iis thiis ur way of revenge, sorry, to uue iis a "happy" endiinqq,
but to miie iit iis NOT. please laah. iif from the beginning uue don love miie,
what forhh uue ask forhh patch andd make miie smile for this stupiidd few hours.?
iie understandd wadd uue tryyinqq iin the msgg, but how does iit relate to the love ii hadd.?
iie nvr tot of hurtinqq uue agaiin, but thiis tyiime uue did hurt miie. well, uue should reli feel "happy".
iie noe. uue mayy feel nothinqq anyywayy.. iie feel liike cryiinqq.
the feeliinqq was liike how iit was when iie first lost uue,
andd now iit iis cominqq backk agaiin..
iie just learn to face the reality dhat iie hadd lost uue,
andd when iie got uue backk, uue left agaiin.
don toy myy feeliinqqs cann.?
iie trutly waitedd forhh uue forhh 2mths 12days.
even thou iie diid have steadd iin between, but myy harrt was always wiith uue.
those promises was all FAKE.
how am iie goiingg to forgive && forget,
where iie am relii deeply sadd forhh the 2nd tyiime.?
iie just wanna endd my liife. dhat's me.
myy worldd consist of uue, onlyy uue,
uue chose to left agaiin,
andd my world iis collapsiingg.

2007-07-25T21:40:00.000+08:00

nite, talk on the fon wiith shahrul,.?? ehhs. nothinqq actuallyy, fiind iit weiirdd.

iie wonder iis he tryiinqq to fool miie or not. hais. iie am totally confused.

A maths test todayy, andd iie am VERY sure iie am goingg tuh faiil,/
iie dun even understand the topic AT ALL. whiie am ie so DUMB.??!!

wanna studyy harrd,, but nothinqq goes iinto myy miindd,
miindd iis just full of SHAHRUL words.. wad the hell rachel uue rre doiinqq.!!

2007-07-21T10:59:00.000+08:00

ytrdd went out wiith stalle after school.went home habb a change andd took cabby down to Pasir Ris.. went to hanwei house andd waiit for stalle to change all thiis. dhen took cabb down to Paya Lebar - City Plaza dhere to fiind juncai, hanwei, severin andd wei ming.theyy were playinqq billardd.

there was thiis liittle kiid-hanquan. he is so damn cute but rude at tyiimes.hehee. wiill miiss hiim lorrts. he run here andd dhere, andd liike to say "walao".. he iis just simplyy a 6yrs old kiid lurhh.. omg.. but iie piity hiim, he live iin quiite a bad environment.but he iis intelligent. will miiss hiim,heehee.

dhen iit was botak's biirthdayy.. went for barbeque at elias green dhere derh condo. nth muchh lurhh.. went to take cabb. iie andd juncai took cab, weiming,crystalle andd hanwei took another cabb. goiing diiferent ways. went juncai home. hiis home iis clean,. =) hiis mummy was friendly. keep askiinqq me sit sit, ask me whether iie eat dinner liiao marhs.heehee.

awhiile, iie went home takinqq cab.. juncaii gave miie moneyy, but iie refused, but iin the endd took iit. went home andd was super tiredd. kissiingg myy pillow andd dream.=)

2007-07-17T21:17:00.000+08:00

shldd iie be happy forrhh wadd happen todayy?? iie thiink iie shldd.cuz now dhen iie noe wadd he thiinks loh!! heehee. iie noe ppl out dhere care && love me, iie don thiink iie niid hiim,.. keke.

god sake, those ppl just can't grow up,.. iie pity them. not iie want to sayy, iit iis myy matter andd sheevash matter, they come iin forrhh?? alahh.. theyy iin groupp so? cowardiies. =) anyythinqq not happy, iie don't mindd uue come andd tell miie straiight,..

woohoo, went out wiith a guyy todayy.. we went to watchh mooviie-harry potter. dhen we hadd our diiner-mc donalds. we are damn full. keke.

earlyy slp toniite.=) cheers for iie habb given up totally on hiime. iie lost one friend but iie gaiin freedom.

2007-07-16T20:31:00.000+08:00

endd schh at 1.45pm... earliier byy 2 periodds. heehee.. errr. went home. actually goin jessica's hse do project, but iin the endd nvrr, cuzz some not free. best oso. heehee.

tmrr goiing watch moviie, so after schh must rushh home & changge.=)

quite happy overall.=) depending tmr.. =))
ask shahrul to help me take fotos, iin the endd iit was hussien.?..??, alrytes. anyythiqq, as long iie get my foto.=)

nites.

2007-07-15T15:38:00.000+08:00

LIBRA - WOMEN

If you were born between September 23rd and October 23rd, you are a Libra - Woman.

Physical Appearance
Of all the signs, Libra has the maximum share of beautiful women. You are tall with a proportional body. Your limbs are slender but strong. You are attractive, graceful and courteous.

Mental Attitude
You are a levelheaded person. With your fruitful imagination and intellectual capacity you successfully win over the hearts. On the negative side, you are a nagger. You may have negative thoughts and often this may leads to strong depressions.

General Nature
You posses some supreme power in yourself. Use it for some constructive purpose.
Libran's have a spiritual bent of mind. Quite close to peace and harmony. Evade getting into unnecessary troubles. Never intend to hurt the feelings of others and therefore, is famous in the group.
Trading is the natural vocation for you. You will earn lots of money and fame & will play in profits.
You are quite lazy in your life and believe in one sided relationship, where you become a looser and people at the next door gains.

Health
Libran females do not have a well-developed immunity system. Infectious of various kinds will trouble you through out the life. Kidneys, lever and uterus are some of the weak areas for Libra born.

Money
Due to very good business sense you will play in profits. Your needs will also be substantially more than ordinary females. So you will earn and spend it as well. Will be able to make some valuable assets in your life time.

Romance and Sex Life
You are of a cheerful and adjustable nature. You will dress very well and will give a lot of the heed to perfumes you use and the surroundings you are in. This makes you very attractive to the opposite sex.
Libra women are experts in conversation and you like to talk a lot. You can talk effectively about anything under the sun. The idea of romance in your mind includes a lot of talking.
You have a very strong need of company of the opposite sex. Hence, you will be prepared to be a bit out of way to get the man which pleases your eye.
You are full of romantic blues therefore, fail to see the real qualities initially and may repent later on.
Either you are a sincere lover who will marry the same guy whom you have liked too or your parents might have chosen. Or you are fun loving changeable lover-who will try to trap every male that suits your eye. As it is very difficult for males to resist you, you may have number of short affairs.
Small of the back and buttocks are the hot spots for you.

Marriage
Your deep desire for companionship may lead in early marriage. In your home life, you will tend to be very nice and peace loving. You can create a home which is glamorous and at the same time comfortable.
You are tactful, thus, you wount let any inter-personnal tension in your family. You are always successful in keeping your surroundings happy and cheerful.
You can plan the finances of your house in such a manner that all have enough and you can save too, especially for short trips to beautiful places.

Ideal Match
Leo, Gemini and Aquarius born are best suitable for you.

Caution
You spend beyond from your means on luxuries things and thus, may face financial problems later on.

You cherish pleasure in your life, and this may also ruin you in the long run.
You may develop an attitude where you covet other's to go out of their ways and help you. While you are never prepared to take any pains. This can lead to problems with all whom you deal with and may cause frustration and depressions to you.

Lucky Days, Numbers And Colors
Sunday, Monday, Wednesday & Saturday are lucky days for you. Your lucky numbers are:- 1, 2, 4 and 7. And lucky color's are:- White, Red & Orange.

Recommended Gemstones
Blue Sapphire and Diamond are the lucky gemstones for you. The gem that you wear should have a vibrant aura and should never been used before. The weight of the gemstone shall be decided as per your body weight and age.

hope iit iis true.. heheee.=) ideal match = gemini.. =p

2007-07-14T16:10:00.000+08:00

managedd to finishh the whole episode for "it started with a kiss" within 3 dayys. heehee. thiis show realyy joy up myy feelinqqs. =) winks~

woah.. iie fiindd that thiis show iis hilarious andd oso quite realistic in lyife, && iit just wun happenn iin singapore anyywayy.. the male character is good lookinqq && he's a total genius.. iif iie could just fiind someone liike hiim,, OMG.. iit would be a bless. well,, onlyy a stupiid thinkiinqq. thiis show taught me somethinqq iin the endd. - love someone without giving up, time prove && actions prove too, iin the endd the person might fall backk iin love with uue.=)
wahh.. iie was thinkinqq iif iie could like the female character && like shahrul ferhh 6yrs??!! heehee.=p toopiidd.

iin the endd their weddinqq was cute. should watch.. iie like the way when another guy proposed to the female characterr. super romantic. but the gurl just dun habb feelinqq for that guyy. poor thingg. but she iin the endd together wiith the guy she waiited 6yrs for. hmmm.. when would iit be me.?? xixi. ][jokinqq][.

the male character finally confessed his love for the female character

their cute && funny weddinqq. =)

SO SWEET~~

2007-07-13T19:32:00.000+08:00

went skuel todayy.. haiiyaa. feel liike first dayy erff skuel. heehee. after skuel, went straight backk home andd watch "it started with a kiss" till 25th episode. woohoo!!! 5 more episode to the END... JIAYOU..
wahh.. iin the show iie damn envyy erff "xiang qin".. she cann liive wiith the personn she love, && piick up the courage to tell the guy-"zhi shu" dhat she liike hiim.. even show how much she love hiim forr 5years. yeaa. zhi shu like herr buddhen nvrr sayy. oh my god!! maybbe iie cann be just dreaminqq that iie am xiang qin. she iis so blessedd. ARGHH!! how iie wiish erhh guyy dhatt iie love wouldd pop up && come iinto myy lyiife. heehee. buddhen, guess oso noe who the guyy iie wantedd lurhh.. haiishh..

tiredd. tata

2007-07-11T13:37:00.000+08:00

haiis.. love hiime alot tiill now,

can''t hiie siimplyy understandd wadd ii am thiinkiinqq. haiis.. =(

2 days nvr go skuel. fun.!~

haahaa.bet dhat homework wiith be alorrt. miiss hiim.. takingg myiie love forr grantedd.
the wordds he saiid iin friendsttr's shoutout, is iit myy own thinkinq that he iish sayinqq miie, do wadeva ii wan, nobody cares.

feel damn asshole. ARGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

2007-07-07T15:37:00.001+08:00

well, break wiith eriic liiao. he asked for break=D bcus of real some stupiid reasons. actually iie thiink maybe we are just not fatedd tuh be tuhgetherr. heehee

myy harrt just siimplyy liike shahrul. after so many days liiao, the feelingg iis just gone abit onlyy. buddhen iie just feel liike waiitinqq for hiime. iie mayy seems stupiid.. but dunnoe whiie iit iis just worth iit. winks~

ii am numb bout love alreadyy.. everthingg iis likke messed up. lyife iis jus so s h i t. confusedd miind.. iie love shahrul alort.. dunoe whiie.. hiie can't giive us a chance, but iie continue tuhh lurve hiim. =D

2007-07-03T20:59:00.000+08:00

well, patchh backk wiith eriic. hmm.. ii guess ii would be serious this tyiime.

waittinqq for shahrul iis not the best thinqq when he got hiis love one alreadyy.

lyingg deadd on bedd thinkinqq of hiim.=D he seems mooddyy on the phone.. ii haddn't see ppl moodyy for longg tiime. ever siince that, ppl hadd enn coaxinqq miie whenever ii am sadd..woohoo.. promise will make hiim happy. without shahrul, ii guess ii cud biie equally happy.. had hiim, enough liiao.

our story- 03072007

2007-06-28T21:21:00.000+08:00

todayy sch was per normal..chinese re-band.. luckily ii stiill at Mdm Ang's chinese class.. even iif have a chance tuh go mr toh class ii oso dunwann-cuz ii wun concentrate well over there.

met shahrul after schh arndd 3.30pm.. talking tuh hiim made me fed up.. grrr... but dunnoe whyy ii damn love hiim.. goiing bonkers soon or later. tmr dance.. omg. dyingg.

2007-06-27T16:51:00.000+08:00

sch reopens.. ii feel liike not goiing tuh schh where ii habb tuh face hiim andd lessons are fuckiinqq borinqq. P.E teacherr change tuh ms thia, geog change tuh ms lam andd history change tuh mr goh.. haiis. ii am feelinqq down all these days. ii am just thinkinqq of hiim..

juncai ask miie tuh go and tell hiim how muchh ii love hiim.. ii want tuh but ii diin habb the courage tuh..

unhappy things are like comingg alongg the way, ii dun noe how muchh strength ii need tuh take iit as nothingg ever happen?? he left myy harrt wiith a deep cut, which iit seems it cannot be heal over months..

alyssha biirthdayy tuhdayy, andd we brought her a pooh bear.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALYSSHA. =)

he iis sec 4 now... graduating soon, that means nxt yr ii wun get tuh see hiim often.. think of that ii am reli hurrt. seeinqq hiim peace myy mind andd make miie smile naturally, thinking of hiim makes me madd and frown. ii wiilingg tuh waiit and love hiim.. but will he let me do that?? or just ignore me? confused.

2007-06-20T16:57:00.000+08:00

byitch byitch!!! she totally a byitch.!!!

why can't ii go iinto a new relationshiip somemore after ii breakk wiith shahrul?? everyy guy ii be wiith afterr hiim, ii tendd tuh hurt the person.. ii dun wiishh tuh.. ii dun even noe what the hell ii am thinkinqq!! wad he treat me as??! a toy?! a fool?!! or something else?? ii dun even noe what he is thinkingg yet ii still love hiim dearly. he diin even noe.. shameless creature = me!!!

ii dunnoe whyy, iit seems like when ii am startingg tuh forget bout hiim, he pop up iin my lyfe agaiin... wad iit shows??? school startinqq andd iit iis relli hard for me to face hiim.. tell me what can i do??

ii dun wiish tuh hurt juncai. he iis a niice guy oso..he saiid tuh me, iif one dayy ii go for shahrul, he ask me tuh go.. he saiid he will be happy iif he see me happy.. he saiid he wouldn't mind as long he hadd my love before. ii diin give all my love tuh hiim.. ii gave iit tuh shahrul oledi...

feelinqq worst dhen dyinqq.

2007-06-19T20:28:00.000+08:00

shahrul, yoo make me understand alort of things now... =)

2007-06-18T21:19:00.000+08:00

morninqq wake up andd nvr call juncai cuz dunwann disturbb hiim from hiis sweet dreams. heehee. anywayy,, shahrul msgg miie andd askk whether ii cann meet hiim. at 11am.. ermm, ii nvr bath yet so ii askk hiim aroundd 11.45am && he sayy okayy.. iin the endd, nvr. cuz he sayy hiis father woke up. is he tryinqq tuh fool miie??? well, iif that's the case, ii admit ii am a fool forever tuh hiim. =/ but he swear he nvr. aiyaa. dunnoe larhh. feel so fuck up after he saiid cannot meet cuz ii was preparinqq tuh go out to meet hiim before meetingg juncai laterr.

went out earlier tuh find & buy one facial cream.. iin the endd nvr foundd. met juncai arndd 12.45pm.. he came all the way from tampines tuh woodlands... so sweet. thnks dear.~went tuh AMK hub.. nth tuh walk derh lurhh.. so went tuh orchard the lido tuh watch mooviie. heehee. went home earlier cuz need go backk msiia. grandpa dunnoe whyy hospitalized. siian. ='(

todayy was happy.=)

i love yoo. =)

2007-06-17T17:39:00.000+08:00

wake up arndd 10am.. nth tuh do but slack at home the whole dayy.. juncai woke up at 12pm andd we talkedd for 5hrs... mentallyy retarded liiao..
dhen goinqq watchh moviie wiith hiim tmr. =p

went tuh the airport. woke up at 5am!!=)

the biig biig mushhroom marshmallow

the grandd piano.~~

legg gorrt blister.. paiinful~~ disgustinqq..=/

myy prince andd princess ; miie && my princess zhe

see hiim naked.!!~~ censored

biig eyes andd hiis chubby face make hiim pefect. i love hiim.<33

love hiim lorrts~~~ fifteen.june
our dayy.. belonggs tuh us.. andd iit wiill be forever. promise you'll love miie andd ii wiil do so too. =D

2007-06-16T13:03:00.000+08:00

iin malaysiia now... wake up arndd 7am... dhen msgged juncai.. he oso woke up liiao.. haiiyo.. can slp dun wan slp.. well, he iis goiing out wiith hiim famiilyy tuhday for barbeque or fiishinqq??

saw myy prince and princess.theyy are supperr cute lurhh.. heehee. love them lorrts.

so siiann... can't peii juncai msgg. miiss hiim lorrts too.. later buyinqq mummum for hiim.. heheee.he so greedyy. nvm... make hiim fat fat.. haahaa.

endd here lerhh.. nth tuh wriite.

celebratinqq fathers' dayy andd princess biirthdayy..heehee.

happy 3yr old biirthdayy tuh her. =)

love hiim tons && tons. loveingg hiim more by biits as days go by.

cat&&dogg <33>

2007-06-15T09:37:00.000+08:00

ii am sryy iif ii hurt yoo.. ii diin mean to... ii just can't forget hiim. we break for nearly 3mths - 4mths liiao.. yoo saiid ii have change. ii admiit. ii understandd.. there iis a gap between us, do yoo noe?? iit iis not the matter yoo hurt miie last tyiiime, ii dun thiink i could get back tuh the same old feeling that ii had for yoo. myy love was giiven tuh someone special, andd bcuz of hiim, ii change.

juncai told miie something shockk last night. 0oops.
shahrul call miie last niite andd he sayy something.so meetinqq hiim tmr wiith farhan awhiile.

arndd 2.30pm, went tuh vista tuh take photos for my godma from the photo shop afterr meetinqq shahrul.. went tuh take fotos andd iit cost $$43.20.. expensive sheyy! wear the new shoes until heels got blister. fcukk.dhen went home change tuh sliipper otherwise legg cannot tahan.

went tuh somerset tuh meet marcus. was late,. so paiisehh.. went shop shop arndd till 6.30pm dhen went tuh sha villa tuh eat... hmm... the food were ***...not that nice,,?? dhen ii eat the appertiser iis relii awful, ii must admit,ii eat till feel like throwing up.eww.. dhen the 2nd dish was soup- quiite niice. main course-the fiish was horrible, hadd tuh eat the rice wiith a FORK..?? haahaa.dhen was the dessert. dessert was okayy okkayy.. ii like the biscuit spoon alorrt.heehee.. eat finish arndd 7.33pm. bill cost $$64.. haiyo.. expensiive...='( nort worth, cuz the food nort nice.

marcus pei miie backk tuh woodlands.thnks marcus for todayy.=) thou the food not niice, ii still enjoyedd. =P

tata

2007-06-14T15:32:00.000+08:00

woke up 5am tuh go fetch aunt from the airport. her return flight was at 4.40am... so tiredd. slept 1.30am last niite. talk tuh juncai andd keiith.

steadd backk wiith eriic. askedd an answer from shahrul, but he sayy he don care anyymore.iit hurrts miie.

lyfe tough.. everythinqq change. ii hadd tuh accept a new person when myy harrt iis just not wiith eriic yet. ii feel ii am damn bastard. whyy can't shahrul understandd?!!! ii am reli not understand myyself anyymore.

maybe goingg out wiith elnaa andd alyssha on thursday ][maybe][.. tmr goiing dinner wiith marcus.. saturday goiinq msia.

busyy busyy. but iis good, busy then won't think of hiim.. haiis.

LOST && CONFUSED.

2007-06-13T12:56:00.000+08:00

sleep at 1.30am last niite.

talk tuh juncai, dhen talk tuh keith andd smsinqq wiith eric. weets~

so tiredd. cuz morninqq wake up 8.30am just tuh go for my yoga class at 9am.. receivedd miss calls from shahrul.. cuz ii msgg hiim jus tuh ask hiim rmbrr a numberr. but hope he will rmbr iit. =Xx

came home, superly tiired. goinqq piano lesson at 6pm andd straight goinqq gym agaiin wiith guowei andd kenneth, ii am on diet. so no food for miie tonite. haahaa.

ii thot, iif shahrul reli love me last tyime, the feelinqqs won't so fast fade derh. onlyy iit will be gone if he diin't love me before. hmmm.. so myy feeliinqqs tell me, he nvrr love me before.haahaa. well, iit doesn't matter me anyymore.=)

ytrdd doinqq housework.look kinda weiird.=Xx

came backk from gym last niite.

bought shoes from mondo][by guowei][ andd kitty bagg..hohoho

2007-06-12T21:13:00.000+08:00

wake up earlyy morninqq andd went tuh 614 house dhere tuh do house keepiinqq. the house is damn messy. guowei went tuh sch earlyy morninqq, so when wake up can't see hiim liiao. =P

clean till arndd 2pm andd went tuh admiralty. bought a hello-kitty bag. heehee. damn love iit.

do some a maths homework andd watch dvd.. the show was disgustinqq. ewwww. dhen afterr that went home. that's myy dayy. diin get tuh slp durinqq afternoon.

marcus call.. andd he sayy my voice on the phone and real life is so different... hmmm.. wad different cann it be??>> dhen he ask me tuh treasure myy voice... heehee. he oso sayy will bring me go shantec eat.. heehee. thnks marcus~~

arghh.. so siian.. ii love hiim alorrt.<33

2007-06-11T20:18:00.000+08:00

not feelinqq that well.. haiis.. wake up arndd 7am plus.do some morninqq revisionn andd use the computerr.

stayy home all dayy. but nort reli that boredd.cuz took a nap from 1pm to 5.30pm liidat. kena scold piig byy juncai andd dennis. humpfx.

wake up do revision agaiin till 7.30pm liidat. till now iis 8pm liiao. nth muchh tuh wriite todayy.

guowei just now came over and had dinner at my house. he oso brought a roasted duck for familyy.nice.yumiie.thnks.=) so full now... guo wei stayingg overnight. haahaaa.become the living room guard again.poor thing..

ii wanna tell hiim ii relii love hiim..

niice ryte the chocs. gave iit tuh shahrul.=) weet~

2007-06-10T21:19:00.000+08:00

todayy iis shahrul birthdayy.. happy 16th birthdayy tuh hiim.

voiice was so terrible. went shoppinqq wiith guowei. from orchard tuh novena andd went home. actually keith wantedd to go watch mooviie, but nvrr cuz ii cannort go home late. sadd.

went orchard tuh see gorrt Great Singapore Sales (GSS) ornorrt.. ya, ii do habb.. but even after the discount of 80% or less, the things dhere were still freakinqq expensive. change our shoppinqq target tuh novena-velocity shoppinqq center. he bought a new shoe for me. andd ii love iit. bought me a slipper oso. ornot ii gort no sliipper tuh wear. how poor thinqq. grabb some ice cream tuh eat.. ii am goinqq tuh be fat liiao.

hadd ourr dinner outside. eat prawn noodle. yummyy.. dhen went home arndd 8pm.. so tiredd. so happyy todayy. =)

2007-06-09T17:05:00.000+08:00

7.32am: woke up with a fright cuz of daddyy voice.
look arndd andd fiindd the house so quiiet cuz
=daddy left house tuh go work.
=mummyy andd siis at msiia
=grannyy went tuh market.
left me alone at home.

hadd my breakfast- 2 boiled eggs. ii askedd grannyy tuh cook for me 2 boiled eggs cuz ii saw from the net that eating high protein food iin the morningg cann reduce hunger later on. =andd sure,iit do reli works. will be havinqq eggs for the nxt few days but the price of an egg increases by 60cents liiao. WOAH.

went for filming and meet hweefang,huisi and heng hui,.. dhen walk all the way tuh republic poly. we were late by 30mins. dhey brought us tuh the place and had our filminqq dhere.. it ended arnd 1pm.. ii went wiith gary andd jade. gary so nice, bought jade andd me green tea. so thank you, gary!~ =)

we 3 went arndd shop shop.. ii thiink gary gorrt boredd cuz me andd jade like pang seh hiim.. we went where andd he folo so he saiid he wanna go off fiirst, okk dhen. goodbye tuh hiim...=P see hiim soon.

bought a clothes from I.P zone for his birthday. dunnoe wadd size he wear just took a M size shirt and iit was their last stock.. KNN.. dhen he tell me he wear L size. tore off the tag liiao. fiine dhen.. if he wans tuh wear he wear, dun wan tuh wear can throw. iit matters myy sincere andd hiis onlyy.

went arndd with jade till 4pm lidat. causeway is damn borinqq. haiishh... he saiid he at hiis uncle dhere ask me tuh pass tuh hussien.. dhen meet hussien and pass it tuh hiim... saw elnaa andd izad at cwp.. hmm...

keith actuallyy wanna jio me out for ktv, but my voice liidat sommore ii at home liiao. so ii toldd hiim tmrr maybe.. ii thot ii had a chance tuh celebrate hiis birthdayy tuhgether, but iit seems liike a impossible liiao.. ii shldd give up alreadyy lurhh..myy harrt feels like giving up by the way he treated me... but my actions to hiim is liike,-no! no giving up. get it??~~ godd.please help me... ii am doiinqq more than wadd ii am suppose tuh do.. earlyy earlyy on, he like me andd ii dun care, now ii like hiim andd he don care. is this a joke or wad? pui!

veryy tiredd. just hadd my medicationn. tata. tmrr hiis birthdayy liiao. =)

2007-06-08T20:30:00.000+08:00

went tuh do facial at sembawang. actually appointment is at 10am buddhen change to 9.30am.. so rush so took cabbyy down.. iit was peakk hour dhen so $7.80.. expensive sheyy.

facial finish was at 12pm.. so the aunty sendd me to the bus stop tuh take bus 962 tuh admiralty. alightedd in front of admiralty mrt.. walk all the way back to blk 614 derh house as ii need tuh take skiirt for tmr filimingg. while walkingg back, ii nearlyy faintedd. sat down awhile andd continue tuh walk further. reach 614, took the skiirt andd just liie on the bedd. at that tyiime ii feel liike dyinqq,,, call guowei andd he brought me to the doctor. thnks guowei. =)

he sendd me home andd ii ate myy medicine after finish eating the fish porridge guowei bought. sleep from arndd 3pm to 7pm.. pheww. so tiredd.

ii want hiim tuh be there tuh care for me.. but not someone else. if you still love me, say okkayys??haiishh..

hiis birthdayy comingg liiao, shld ii or shldd ii not buyy hiim somethingg.??
tmrr goinqq filming.. earlyy lehhs.. ii dunnoe cann wake up norrt. =(

2007-06-07T16:29:00.000+08:00

well well.. todayy last dayy iin Tan Tock Seng hospital lerhh.. kinda miiss some of the patients.saddx.

went tuh united square durinqq our break time andd bought chocolates. ii bought a box for shahrul.. ermm... the meaning iis ii noe wun't come true derh- ii love you == but ii jus bought iit andd gave hiim..

actually goinqq watch moovie wiith juncaii derhh, buddhen han wei ][ crystalle's darling][ dun wan wake up, dhen iin the end nvrr.

went tuh admiralty andd gave hiim the chocs. saw hiim andd hussien... errr.. ya.

okayy.. nth else liiao. just will miiss those patients. ii wanna buy what for hiis birthdayy lehhs???!! hmm...

siick arhhs.. haiis.. tiredd.

ii reli love hiim alort, but does he noe? andd will he wanna be wiith me backk?? ii ask hiim whether he thot of iit before he sayy 50-50.. haiis.... ii love hiim..

2007-06-06T21:15:00.000+08:00

todayy, 06.06.2007... superrlyy happyy. hees. thou diin patchh backk,,, but ii am OVERLY HAPPY!!!!!!!!! =)

nursinqq slowlyy begann tuh be funn.. but tmrr last dayy liiao, will miiss "SOME" of the patients.. some are cute and funnyy. todayy ii took a lonqq tyiime tuh askk a ah ma tuh eat,, at last, a caregiver came tuh help.. pheww. no matter what ii say she oso wun openn her goldenn mouthh..

all ii cann sayy iis I AM VERYY VERYY HAPPY TODAY!!!

publishinqq the show- kinshiip,. took at bugiis. elvin ng and jessica liu- ii liike theyy two.=P
afterr swiimiinqq. ii am so fat.. sadd.

felicia andd miie. she look pretty andd gorgeous.. cheerful oso. admiire herr loadds.

givenn byy guoweii.. thnks.ii love iit aloort.. =P

ii love hiim!!! ii love hiim!!! ii love hiim!!! ii love hiim ALORRT!!!!

2007-06-04T20:52:00.000+08:00

wake up at 6am just tuh go for the nursing work attachment at Tan Tock Seng Hospital (TTSH)...
iit was boring overr dhere. we habb nthh tuh do... ii andd stalle workk at ward 5A, andd jaslyn work at 12A.. hees. afterr that we went tuh habb our breakk for 1 hr.

the nurse let us go earlier. we went off at 12.30pm. supposedly was 1pm derhh..hees.. dhen we went shop awhile arndd velocity ...

actually guowei wantedd to go pirates of the carribean withh me and nicole, but iin the endd nvrr. cuz he hadd tuh take his driving license. hees.. so tmrr after my work attachment dhen we go watch.. so happyy. keke..

okayy.. ii wan off le.. so tiredd.

2007-06-03T20:41:00.000+08:00

went swimminqq at jurongg withh cousins dheyy all. iit was fun.. heehee,. reachh dere arndd 11am andd playy till 1pm.. the 2 thiings ii hate iis myy nail polishh are being washedd awayy andd the swimminqq complex is under construction oso.. andd ii look so funny.. some nails got color, some dunn habb,, myy baby niece andd nephew are super cute when dhey are playiingg. haahaa. lurrve dhem lorrts.

quiite tiredd todayy morning, cuz talk to keith last nite on the fon, andd ii hearrdd some unpleasent things about someone dhat ii diin expect the person will do that. ii now begin tuh lose trust tuh that person and lookingg down on the person lerhh.. cannot jjudge a person by their looks.

after swimming, ii andd nicole went tuh bugis junction. dhen we saw the tv drama - 手足 <shou zu> iin english is "kinship". iit iis a drama series whichh habb 80 episodes.oh my goshh.. so manyy episodes. dhen the artists from that show came to advertise their show. 黄俊雄<elvin ng> was so handsome... wahh... dhen the jessica liu <刘芷绚>,, she iis myy idol lurhh.. she iis pretty andd to me, she acts veryy well. thumbs up up up forr herr. hees.

went home andd stomach was superly paiin.. dunnoe wadd the hell ii eat,,, went iin the room andd slpp.. wake up dhen strt blogging liiao.nvrr eat dinnerr. haahaa. myy dinner iis my breadd... =P

endd.~~

ii dun wiishh tuh thiink of hiim... but when ii the bus backk tuh woodlands, ii dreamt of hiim.. izzit a hiint or wadd? or am ii thinkinqq too muchh..?? ii believe that once dream ii saiid out, iit wun come true.. andd the dream iis a good one... so dunn wann tuh sayy.. hees.. but hope iit will come true...

2007-06-02T20:58:00.000+08:00

went forr the filming ont " turn U"...

firstlyy, at the ware house there was abiit siian. mayybe bcuzz nth forr me tuh do. =P dhen took the van down to orchardd. there was this auntie oso wiith us derhh.. ii hate herr. she liike keep pickingg on me. wad yoo norrt happy wiithh?? tell me straight larhh.. ii eat yoo oso ka jiao. sayy eat eat eat., ltr cannort eat mehs. OI.. stupiid ladyy, ii hungryy at that tyiime kkaeS? ii jus now nvrr eat wiith yoo all cuz ii eatenn at home liiao lurhh.. yoo noe how painful when yoo grabb my wrist, andd showing me UR MOTHER FUCKING attitude? old nanny liiao still at there kao beh kao bu.. where buay song tell me larhh. dun think ii like tuh see yoo.

12pm, ii did call shahrul to ask hiim. ii call hiim alorrt of tyiimes, but he was slpingg. at last he pickk up. aiyaa. the main thing is he dunwan patch back. fiine larhh. dun wan patch, ii oso dun wan waiit. anotherr guyy givinqq me attitude. asshole life of MINE..

at orchardd, marcus oso at dhere. his role iin the show was my hubbyy. heehee. look weiird cuz we two young young onlyy.. he 18yrs old dhen ii 15 niia. keke. dhen we held our hands andd walk. actingg onlyy. but quite funnyy. cuz ii holding onto the burger king's onion ring, so we were like walking andd eatingg, dhen we need tuh replayy andd replayy,.. so he ate alorrt until he say he is reli full liiao. haahaa. he is quite cute lurhh- some sort of baby cute. =P

went to cash studio derh KTV for anotherr senario where i have tuh sing andd dhen cryy. cuz no tears mahh, dhen the "auntie" ask me tuh think of sadd things,, again: first thot: SHAHRUL... sadd andd brokenn iin the harrt, but no tears liiao. last tyiime all cryy out le.. heehee. dhen keith went tuh buy eye mo.. drip thhe eye mo iin myy eyes more than 20 tyiimes. jus tuh have the effect of cryingg. dhen sing the song "fen shou kuai le" meaning, break-happily. actually iis sing JJ's song - "zhi dui ni shuo" meaning say tuh yoo onlyy... buddhen dunnoe whyy. dhen the counsellor- nichol, she is a real life counsellor. iin the show she is oso a counsellor. she iis veryy kindd andd prettyy. ii liike her alorrt. andd she jokes wiith us too.. she iis definitely 101% better than the old auntiie.

recieve msgs from guowei,.he ask for steadd, ii told hiim sryy cuz of shahrul... ii rather we be friends than anything more than that. yoo are a great friend, ii am sure ii am not the luckyy one tuh have yoo.. yoo caredd alorrt for me,,, but my harrt jus wana goes tuh hiim.. but afterr all of this, ii hope we are still veryy good friiends.

went home andd reach home arndd 8pm... eat andd watchh tv and blogg. now going rest lerhh.
niites.

dunn wryy shahrul, ii won't wanna be a fool anymore. ii wun ask for patchh backk. iif there iis fate between us, ii hope that yoo will still ask for patch. but iif yoo like anotherr gurl, well.. my wiishes tuh yoo andd the gurll yoo liike. ii STILL love yoo.. =)

2007-06-02T10:19:00.000+08:00

earlyy morningg quiite excitedd just tuh waiit for hiis answerr. but iin the endd, he nvrr say anyythinqq but toldd me tmr dhen tell me. ii gave till 12pm niia.. cuz afterr 12pm ii will be unavailable.=P ][don't thiink so muchh - no new target][

afternoon, 2.30pm went tuh woodlands library for interview from a lady.. cool uhs. andd she bought me a driink. thnks.=) talk till 4pm lidat, dhen ii andd nicole went backk as ii am meetingg hui si at cwp control station at 5pm.

went tuh woodlands centre andd bought the handphone silicon. searchh nearlyy all handdphone shop but couldn't find a color that ii like. got grey, white andd black?? .. some of the white silicon , the cutting like shiit., dhen we dun wan buy.. so we walk further andd we saw blue one. ii took the white one and nicole took the blue one. =) love iit. ii thot of havinqq piink, but eitherr theyy nvrr sell or sell finish liiao. sadd.

after that was late iin meetinqq huisi. supposedly meet herr at 5 but was late 30mins. cuz niicole andd ii took a long tiime tuh find the silicon thingg. paiisehh,, meii oso folo along.. we 4 took mrt down tuh chua chu kang andd took cabby down tuh hwa chong institution. dunnoe whetherr the taxi uncle gorrt cheat us money not. dhen went there tuh see get high concert.. =P

iit was enjoying overall. but the floor was wet and we couldn't get a good view. so sadd. haiis..
went home taking cabby. from hwa chong to woodlands onlyy $12, buddhen earlier on, we took cab from chua chu kang tuh hwa chong was $9.40,, dhats whyy we thot the uncle cheat our money.. knn.. reachh home arndd 11pm.

just now went tuh market wiith granny. iit stiinks. ii went iin awhile andd came out.. sit down dhere andd waiit for granny tuh buy finishh. ltr goiing for filminqq. hope that iit iis fun!! heehee.

2007-05-31T13:37:00.000+08:00

ha! now ii noe how lyiife iis shoo borinqq when dhere iis nth out dhere for me tuh do andd thiinkk. wake up at 9am as mummy down dhere vacuum the floor. vesak day, parents nvr go work.

studyy my chemistry awhile dhen recieve call from guowei. bathe andd went out tuh meet he and his friend -xiao les and xiao les's girlfriend- jingling. went down tuh Aljunied takinqq cabby.. reachh dhere arndd 1pm plus. guowei sponsor me for manicure ][how nice][ andd xiao les payy the moneyy for jingling. dhen habb no ideaa wadd the two boys doiinqq liiao. =p

went tuh eat at "the marmalade pantry" locatedd at orchard. ii hadd salmon teriyaki for lunchh andd a piece of NY cheesecake, gosh- iit was delicious. but ii diin reli enjoy the salmon teriyaki. mayybe bcuz ii dun like seafood.=P guowei orderedd the ice cream wiith chocolate derh cakiie. hmm. sweet! as ii took a biite of hiis dessert. hees.

went tuh vivo city andd walk arndd. bought a box of donuts. intend tuh buy for sisterr, but stupiid guo weii and xiao les go eat my donuts. at last finish liiao. haiyoyoyo.. realisedd ii diin spendd muchh of my moneyy, iit was guowei payiinqq.haahaa. ii onlyy spendd moneyy on my 6 donuts andd transport fee. guowei sayy wanna go for drivingg lesson maybe nxt month or wadd. all the best tuh hiim.

took mrt back and reach home arndd 9 plus. now doing blogging before bathinqq. hees. so tiredd. tmr goiing for the get high concert!! andd cousins coming..yeapiie.

godma going tuh china todayy at 1am flight. dunnoe wan go airport sendd her not. =p hearrd sisterr sayy we going zoo this sundayy.. oh my gosh, dunn ever dragg me tuh dhat kind of place. saturdayy going for filming for "turning U" show. okkayy. shall stop here andd uploadd my fotos. =)

well, tmr iis the dayy where ii am getting an answerr from him. =)

jingling.<33>

myy naiils.simplyy adore iit.

new york cheesecake andd the ice-cream wiith chocolate cake. delicious

salmon teriyaki.

myy 6 donuts!! no more lerhh.

ii enjoyy myy day. thnks guys. love all of yoo. no matter wadd, ii promise yoo all, wadeva the answerr ii goiing tuh be tmr, ii will still habb my smile on. yoo guys ROX!!

took yesterdayy

keith office place. niice riite?? hees. andd the toilet paintingg. cool uhs?

boredness.

2007-05-30T20:31:00.001+08:00

went tuh blk 614 derhh house dhere andd peel onions. 1kg of onions lehh.. meii andd ii at there peel, dhen meii sayy eyes veryy paiin,dunnwann peel liiao. the juice of the onions oso got get into my eyes lurhh, but i still continue peel. fine anyyway, managedd tuh finish peeling by 9am. dhen wash the dumpling leaves. wash halfway went tuhh bath cuz goingg out to fiindd keith tuh take the schedule at oxley road dhere.

iin the mrt, damn tiredd. cuz ytrd slp arnd 2am. dunnoe whyy cannot sleep.insomnia??. when cannot slp dhat tyiime, playy games andd listen musics, buddhen still cannot sleep. haiishh..

reachh dhere arndd 12pm. keith was havinqq meetinqq, therefore waiit awhile. there was this gurl-baojun, she was pretty,ii love herr. she may look unkindd??, but iin fact she was friendlier thann wad ii thot.=) went tuh makan at a nearby coffee shop. the coffee shop was crowded andd dirtyy. reli dirtyy. they gotten seats near the washing place there. damn disgusting. how do you expect a person to enjoy a happy lunch at this kind of environment???!! gosh.. nvr eat.. see all those flies flyinqq arndd, no appetite liiao. keith bought drinks for us. how nice of hiim.=) thnks keith.

went back to their office andd took the schedule andd went tuh take cabbyy tuh city hall mrt. ii dunnwanna waiit for the bus liiao cuz ii am reli reli tiiredd. took traiin backk tuh woodlands and went tuh popular tuh buy book references for chemistry andd biology, went tuh metro to buyy nail polish also.=) andd also bought my favourite hersheys. heehee.

went backk home, browse thru the books ii bought andd fiind iit was relii useful. iit explains the answers andd the concept. ii love iit. =)

went tuh take a nap andd wake up. saw got 1 witheld numberr, first thot was shahrul. but ii thot, shldn't be hiim. he won't call me derh. so ii call tuh jun cai-he say no. call to hweefang-she say no. left hiim that has private numberr, dhen ii call hiim- he sayy: hello who are you?which school? dhen nvrr answerr my question. dhen he ask me bout the 1st june. haiis. gladd that he still rmb,, does he wanna patch back? iif by 1st june he is not givinqq me an answer, ii would be taking it as a no, ii dun wan patch backk.. iit iis pointless for me waitingg, iif he dunn wanna patchh backk, ii just want tuh concentrate on myy studiies, dunn wann go into anotherr relationshiip.

guowei come andd ask for steadd.. so malu. ii dunnoe how tuh reject hiim sheyy... ii dhen sayy giime more tyiime, not preparedd. dhen he like shy shy,, follow me go buy bubble tea. so sweet of hiim.=P guowei iis reli nice,, he understandds me, but now ii just waitinqq for 1st june for hiis answer.

tata.

2007-05-29T18:29:00.000+08:00

holiidayy liiao, lyiife iis damn borinqq,,.. at home studyy studyy andd books are slowlyy freakinqq me out. went online searchiinqqs for things on laws.. wahh!! diin noe that there is so manny laws in sinagpore, andd eachh law came underr different categories.. poor lawyers habb tuh rememberr those laws, hees. but doctorr iis what ii wantedd tuh be, but ii noe iit is impossible, cuz ii dun even studyy. myy miid-yr results was damn horrible, ii oso nvrr thot ii would get that kindd of marks. i am so stupid. mum even sayy, might as well quit school, dun studyy.. haiis, ii feel so hopeless when mummy sayy that. ='(

morning go wet market withh granny. ii sit outside the wet market derh kopitiam. dhen ii saw hazel wiith herr friends. sat down andd talkk awhiile andd they hadd tuh leave, iit has been a longg tyiime ii ever see her. she grown taller, taller than me!! granny came out of the market andd ii help her carry the stuffs.

went home eat cheesecake.. the cheesecake is expensiive derh okkay?? 1 fine piece cost $5.20.. but not ii payy derhh.. dunnoe where mummyy bought from.. cheesecake are the same lurhh.

do myy biology homeworkk and engliishh.. tmrr going tuh buy assessment books tuh do. otherwise ii am slacking behindd otherrs le. JIAYOU RACHEL..!!!

went off tuh napp at 2pm-5pm. guowei come tuh myy house andd wake me up. cuz he wanna lendd dvd shows from me. diiao...dhen wake up, granny cookinq curry.. nice, granny ask guowei tuh stayy andd eat..guess wad??!! he iin myy room snorinqq and waiting for dinner tuh be served. PIG!

ii dunnoe iif ii shldd get in tuh anotherr relatiionshiip, when the one ii truly love iis treatinqq me liike a fool...

2007-05-29T13:40:00.000+08:00

There are times when I cant decide
whether to see you or not,
I want to see you because I miss you
but there are times when I dont want to see you
because everytime I do,
the fact that you dont see me the way
that I see you hurts me even more ...

The weirdest thing happened the other morning...
I woke up with tears in my eyes...
and one rolling down my cheek...
and I knew I must have been dreaming of you again.

I'm not supposed to love you,
I'm not supposed to care,
I'm not supposed to live my life wishing you were there,
I'm not supposed to wonder where you are and what to do,
I'm sorry I can't help myself,
I'm in love with you.

You're not worth the tears,
you're not worth the heartache.
I don't know why I give you the time.
You're not worth the pain,
you're not worth the emptiness.
I don't know why I wish you were mine.

I'm sorry for crying over you,
because I said I wouldn't.
But I didn't promise you that,
because I knew it would be a promise
I would never be able to keep.

It takes a couple seconds to say Hello,

but forever to say Goodbye.

Nothing hurts more than realising he meant
everything to you, but you meant nothing to him.

Love is a precious gift that people
try to hold onto until the end of time,
even when there is nothing left to hold.

Love starts with a smile,
Grows with a kiss,
and ends with a tear.

Somtimes we have to let go,
just to be sure that there is something
there worth holding on to.

I don’t believe in love because I still don’t have you!

If dreaming is the only way to be with you,
then I'll never open my eyes.

They asked me if I kissed you.
I told them yes.
They asked if I regretted it.
I told them no.
They asked me if I regretted falling for you.
I told them no.
They asked me how I could have ever liked you.
I replied:
I don't regret any of my feelings
or things I did with him,
because when I look at him I see something
different than what everyone else can see.
When I'm with him,
I feel a feeling that no one or
being anywhere else can give me.
When I kissed him,
my world around me melted.
When he held me in his arms
and rested his head on mine,
I forgot everything but my world
that was holding me.
Even though all of you may see
something in him that is so horrible,
all I see is all the positive,
and special moments that
he ever shared with me...
The only thing that I regret
is listening to everyone else,
because if I had listened to my heart,
I would still have him by my side.

I'm not supposed to love you
I'm not supposed to care
I'm not supposed to live my life
Wishing you were there
I'm not supposed to wonder
Where you are or what you do
I'm sorry, I can't help myself
cause I'm in love with you!

No one realizes the beauty of love, until you lose it.

My friends are always telling
me to move on, to give up.
But why? Why should I?
They don't see you the way that I see you.
They don't look into your eyes and see the world.
Why would they understand?
They can't possibly imagine what
it means to look at your best friend
and see all their hopes and dreams come true.
I wish for once, just once,
they could walk a mile in my shoes.
But they wouldn't need to walk that far,
they would just take one step and suddenly,
they would take back every bit of
'getting over you' advice they had
ever given me and realize you're my life,
you were meant for me,
and that moving on or giving up is simply not an option.

I'm trying really hard not to cry over you
because every tear is just one
more reminder that I don't know how to let you go.

Should I Smile Because You're My Friend
Or Cry Because Thats All We'll Ever Be?

A Million Words Would Not Bring You Back,
I Know Because I've Tried.
Neither Would A Million Tears,
I Know Because I've Cried.

Forget The Times You Walked By,
Forget The Times You've Made Me Cry,
Forget The Time You Held My Hand,
Forget The Sweet Things If I Can,
I Can No Longer Pretend
, I Have To Remember Now That You're Just A Friend

When I Look At You My Heart Skips
A Beat But Later That Beat Could Mean
A Lifetime Of Tears Wasted
On Something I Knew I Could Never Have

How Can You Be Friends With Someone
If Everytime You Look At Them It Makes
You Want Them Even More?

My Heart Was Taken By You,
Broken By You And Now
Is In Pieces Because Of You

I know in reality we can't be together,
so I just close my eyes and you're right here with me...
in my dreams you're mine forever.

I was reborn when you first kissed me.
Part of me died when you left me.
But now I still live, waiting for the day you return to me.

You are always there for me
and so you give me the courage to stand alone.

The part that hurts me the most,
is knowing that I once had you and then lost you...

pinkk color wordds are the ones tat speakks myy miindd,
blue are the ones that iis occurs tuh me.

2007-05-28T15:48:00.000+08:00

morninqq wae up earlyy just tuh go myy blk 614 derhh house. tiredd. cuz going for parent meetingg at 11.15am.. at dhere use the computerr dhenn watchh ch62 derhh moviie- ghost invite you for a movie. the show was superr lame. summore funnyy. watchh iit thrice liiao.

parent meeting, mr heng was late. we went into the meeting room andd mr heng andd mummy talk.. nthh muchh.. so gladd that mr heng nvrr sayy anyythinqq bout shahrul.. keke. thnks, mr heng. aftr the meeting, mum at there nagg nagg nagg at me.. andd she sayy wanna confiscate my handdphone. takke lurhh.. ii onlyy wann to noe the answerr from shahrul by 7th june niia. hees.

he call me andd ask wad's my blk at checkpoint dhere. toldd hiim andd hang up. lil cousin came over. tok cabby home wiith myy lil cousin-yang2. he was gladd cuz cann playy with myy siis. dhen ii call hiim andd ask whyy he ask, dhen he sayy he at hiis fren house. LOL..

do a maths homeworkk andd went tuh buy bubble tea wiith meii, yang2 andd guo wei. haahaa.. all alongg was funny and totallyy crapps. joke arndd and make the bubble tea auntiie frownn. meii go andd ask guowei whyy the bubble tea ladyy wearr till so nice when they onlyy come for work. dhen guo wei di siao siao go ask the ladyy.. the ladyy just keep quiet,. andd dhen he sayy loud loud:hiiao ma.~! wahh.. ii can't stop laughing lurhh.. guo wei sendd us home andd he went back. ii continue tuh do my homeworkk andd blogg.

wanna go slp liiao. tiredd. wake up so earlyy todayy. hees.. =p

2007-05-27T19:46:00.001+08:00

took iin 161 bus.. ziiliian. =p

ii relii love yoo all byy myy harrt. but seems liike yoo are fooliingg my love to yoo.. iif yoo don't love me, tell me. don't take my love for grantedd.

2007-05-27T18:03:00.000+08:00

mummyy went tuh msiia liiao,. dhenn leave me here iin singaporre. siian, she liied tuh me. cuz she sayy bringing me andd herman ][ dunno who?? mum sayy iis her friend's son][ tuh msiia so askk me come home before 5pm. andd dhen she dua me. when ii call her telling herr my ez-link lost, the line was msia. ii totally shock. knn.. nvr tell me she go msia liiao.FUCK.**

ealryy morning, mummy down dhere asking meii wanna jogg wiith herr. walao.. ii at there slpingg, and the volume of hers so irritating.. in the end i wake up. look at the clock, cheyy - 7.30am niia,. went backk slp till 9.30am liidat,.. by the time ii woke up, mummy went tuh kranji wiith daddyy..

bathe andd went out to meet kiinon. reachh causewayy at 10am. supposed tuh meet hiim at 10.30am, but was dhere earlyy.. waiit~~~ the weatherr was damn hot.. dhen he came, sweatingg. walk all the wayy from cwp tuh his blk. waiit for hiim tuh take things, dhen change clothes dhen wait for hiis sisterr. herr sisterr quiite chiio, summore skinnyy skinnyy derhh lurhh.. went tuh woodlands centre dhere..

at woodlands centre, we went up to the hawkerr centre bcuz he wanna buy something tuh drinkk. folo hiim up, dhere was this indian guy, dunnoe wadd happen, fall onto the fall on his headd and the floor liike shakingg liidat.. kinon sayy the indian retarded derhh.. askk me faster go,..

went tuh sengkang wiith hiim... went into the libraryy and stayy dhere awhiile,,, hiis 2 frens came... kiinon went tuh cut hiis haiir, dhen hiis frens andd ii went out andd theyy smoke downn dhere. offerredd me, but ii rejectedd.. quit smokkinqq bcuzz of hiim. =p some more ii am not a heavy smoker.

dhen they went arcade andd went KFC eat,.. ii siian siian downn dhere.. kiinon dhen sendd me backk tuh the bus stop... he noes ii am boredd, so he askked me go first... went backk woodlands andd meet hiim.. thot he alone, but there was peishan. folo by hussein. shagg.. ii at there dunoe whether go home better or stayy.?? iin the endd ii stayyed. ii at there liike a mute, nvrr talk. stare at things onlyy. shahrul keep askinqq me whyy andd ii just shook myy headd. the reason iis ii just wanna talk tuh hiim alone, but not wiith otherr ppl oso. he just can't get myy miind/iidea.. theyy went tuh admiralty dhere andd buy bubble tea.. ii wen tuh the toilet telling myslef: " yoo standd dhere andd watch like a idiot, might as well go home andd slp. standd dhere liike statue.. he doesn't even care. but tuh play and play.. dun even noe he still likes me not" dunnoe whyy, dhen ii startedd cryingg, toldd hiim tuh go fiirst, ii am goingg home. he sayy dunwann, andd askked me come out. well, see them play bball. ii did not wann tuh joiin iin as ii dunnoe how tuh playy.. stupiid. see them playy ii oso laughh. iit was funnyy.

went ackk tuh the RC andd sat down dhere. he andd hiis frens. ii nth tuh do. iin the endd he hadd tuh go playy soccerr andd ii went backk home. took cabby home. ii smsedd hiim sayiing that ii shldn't have cling onto hiim so tightly. iit iis hard for hiim and me. well, if he dun like me, dunn treatt me that good yars? makingg me getting wrong ideas. in the first place ii saiid breakk andd ii just turnn backk tuh hiim agaiin.. ii shldn't have done that..

now all ii wantedd iis hiim tuh noe tat ii relii love hiim... but he seems not tuh understandd andd care. whyy??!! iif he doesn't wanna turn backk by 7 of june, ii totally giive up lerhh.. not ii breakk my promise. but just dunnwanna waiit anyymore.. dunn wann tuh findd a new one== LYIFE SUX! LOVE SUX! ][ onlyy when he come backks, love rox][

2007-05-26T22:14:00.001+08:00

siiann.. wake upp at 1pm byy juncaii.. hmpff. dhen do some homeworkk andd dhen went out..

came home quiite earlyy andd slept for anotherr 3hrs. use the computerr andd dunnoe wann tuh doo wadd. siian. hols liiao, lyiffe becomes deadd..can't get tuh see hiim oftenn liiao. sadd. but oso hope that holidayys are forever. =p

fon bills dunnoe whyy keep going up up up.. switchh off the fon so that ii wun sms.. lame horr?? buddhen iis good lurh.. =p went tuh exercise wiith meii andd mummyy. playy badmintonn andd do runningg. whole handd cramps. come home, hold a cup of water oso will tremble. poor thiing. =x

tmr must wake up quite earlyy as meetingg kiinon.. tutorr hiim on hiis studiies... but must go home earlyy. must reachh home by 5pm... goingg ang mo kio wiith herman andd mummyy. shagg. kkayys, late lerhh,,

pushh mysleff off tuh the bedd and dream.][better iis hiim dhen tmrr ii can dun wake upp liiao][ heehee.

wanna love yoo. but iit seems liike yoo are making me hopeless. whyy can't yoo gimme one more chance tuh love yoo. are we fatedd tuh be tuhgetherr? or everything iis just part of lyiife?

2007-05-26T11:52:00.000+08:00

Create Yours @ NackVision

niice horr?? hees. hope iit will come true. but ii noe iit iis more tuh the wordd : IMPOSSIBLE.. as wadd he hadd toldd me.

2007-05-25T17:00:00.000+08:00

todayy go skool iin a superr happyy mood. bcuzz of hiim andd last dayy of schh.. morninqq assemble hear the principle talk talk talk.. the sunn veryy biig, ii siit dhere liike one melting chocolate. bastardd. dhen those kena caught ones must do publiic apologies. but dheyy talk ii oso happyy larhh. cuz nvrr bring anyy readiinqq materiial.. =x

dhen go class hear teacher talk. not getting our report books backk. gettinqq backk durinqq parent meeting onlyy. recess, assemble at hall andd hear mr justin talkk bout what not to do durinqq june hols.example - shop liftinqq, riotingg andd blahh blahh, went home carryiinqq manyy bks. alorrt of homeworkk..!!!

went home helped mummy awhile andd went tuh meet shahrul dhen go yio chu kang to findd hwee fang to take the concert tickets. when talking tuh shahrul, iit was happy but angryy as he was quiet all the wayy. he asked what iif he asked for patchh.. ii thiink ii saw hiim cryingg? or maybe ii see wrongg. dhen ii askedd hiim, are we reli impossible... he sayy: ya. impossible. gosh! whyy is he like giving me hope??!! whyy???!! he doesn't believe that ii waitingg when ii toldd hiim.. sadd. veryy upset. eriic asked for patchh. sayiing that he still loves me.. but all ii love iis shahrul. so ii told eriic that: "sry. ii dun love you. ii still like my malay ex.ii waitinqq for hiim.love her. she may be the one for you." well, ii onlyy love shahrul lurhh.. wadeva iit is, ii waiit. =P he mayy choose not tuh believe.,, ii dunoe wadd he iis thinkingg oso..

took bus home. luckily ii miss the bus. cuzz ii thiink ii saww myy ex- desmond. he iis totally an asshole. wonderr whyy ii andd hiim last tyiime cann so longg. haiis.. suchh a fool me. saww jess and jaslynn at interchange. guess dhey diin saw me, cuz ii was iin the bus liiao..

feel like endingg everything wiith a full stop, but he just can't be erasedd from myy mindd. godd, giive me a chance tuh love hiim cann?? hiis birthdayy comingg liiao.. diid he cry? cryy bcuzz of me??

2007-05-24T17:21:00.000+08:00

todayy actually suppose to go to mushroom farm budden dunnoe whyy go to RSAF andd changi chapel... all bout historyy. ewww. =P so sad, elnaa nvrr come schh.. haiisx.

went backk schh andd gorrt the " woodgrove idol".. elnaa did not come so ii helped herr tuh video down the concert. hees. there is this gurl gorrt the first. but dun likke her cuzz she call ppl names. haiis... fat summore.haahaa, but her singing was wonderful.. high pitchh. actually ii shld say: SO??? even iif yoo have a good voice, but your character sux lurhh.look iinto te miirrorr andd see for your size... hees.

went home at 3pm. went tuh sendd the videos to hussein so that elnaa cann see. dhen saw hiim when coming out of the toilet. we act as if nvrr see eachh otherr. but to me, ii feel quiite happy.hees. dunnoe whyy. so went home wiith stalle, and ayuniie. walked backk and saw hiim wiith hussein. but oso act as if nvrr see hiim. whyy secretly loving someone iis so sufferringg??

dhen went home onliine andd he oso gorrt onliine. he talk tuh me asking who iis the 23rd mayy.. seems liike he cares. but actuallyy iit was onlyy ytrdd date.heehee... but happy when he talks tuh me. =P ii keep smilingg tuh myself liike one idiot. mummy oso findd me weiirdd whyy ii so hyper active todayy.. ii gorrt 32 for class position. ii toldd her that actually ii made improvement. cuz actual ranking was ii was in the position of 36 last yr. =P managedd tuh get a smile from mum.haahaa. dhen he startedd tuh askk me some questionns. but just asking myself, are we going tuh get back together, when last tyime he told me it was impossible for us to be tuhgeherr anyymore?
ii askedd bcuz he askked me whether do ii mind his parents comtrolling hiim... err. iis that a hiint?? dhen he sayy wanna meet me. but ii couldn't cuz helpinqq mum... suchh a waste.. saddx.

afterr helpinqq mum went tuh NTUC. actually wanna meet hiim but he sayy he could not. so ii went home afterr that. he actually sayy wanna gimme something, but nvrr get tuh see hiim. so dunnoe wadd- curiious.

thiis sat going for the channel u programme.. hees. quiite happy actuallyy. but not as the "important" role. quiite sadd. but keith askked me to do myy best for this programme so that nxt tyime got anyy show, thay will ask me go.

I JUST WANNA LOVE HIIM AND BE WIITH HIIM. =) if there is a chance, ii wanna giive hiim all myy love.<33

2007-05-23T22:00:00.000+08:00

goiing forr auditionn wiith nette. =)

at marina wiith jade.

at marina. wiith dex the mr tootx.

flowerr made byy jessica.=))

the cuttie andd sweetiie when going for dining for the social ettiqutte programme

yuniie andd me. at coleman strt dhere the restaurant

stalle andd me,

ii dreww iit on 23rd may. niice hor??? hees.

2007-05-23T16:55:00.000+08:00

LOST WITHOUT YOU

I know I can be a little stubborn sometimes
A little righteous and too proud
I just want to find a way to compromise
Cos I believe that we can work things out
I thought I had all the answers never giving in
But baby since you’ve gone I admit that I was wrong
All I know is I’m lost without you I’m not gonna lie
How my going to be strong without you I need you by my side
If we ever say we’ll never be together and we ended with goodbye don’t know what I’d do ...i’m
Lost without you
I keep trying to find my way but all I know is I’m lost without you
I keep trying to face the day I’m lost without you

How my ever gonna get rid of these blues
Baby I’m so lonely all the time
Everywhere I go I get so confused
You’re the only thing that’s on my mind
Oh my beds so cold at night and I miss you more each day
Only you can make it right no I’m not too proud to say
All I know is I’m lost without you I’m not gonna lie
How my going to be strong without you I need you by my side
If we ever say we’ll never be together and we ended with goodbye don’t know what I’d do ...i’m
Lost without you
I keep trying to find my way but all I know is I’m lost without you
I keep trying to face the day I’m lost without you

If I could only hold you now and make the pain just go away
Can’t stop the tears from running down my face
Oh

All I know is I’m lost without you I’m not gonna lie
How my going to be strong without you I need you by my side
If we ever say we’ll never be together and we ended with goodbye don’t know what I’d do ...i’m
Lost without you
I keep trying to find my way but all I know is I’m lost without you
I keep trying to face the day I’m lost without you

a meaningful song which describe what ii am feeling and thinking. =D

2007-05-23T15:51:00.000+08:00

he nvr come schh todayy... yaa.. ii admiit. ii am just beinqq observant bout hiis movement. dunno whyy??haahaa.

crystalle oso nvrr come schh. call her she still slpinqq iin Pasir ris.. aiyoyo... todayy was okkayy okkayy lurh. tmr going to the mushroom farm. haahaa. dhen will be no lesson iin schh. yeapiie.

feel like dyingg iin the class. bored to death... during mother tongue lesson no teacher marhhs, dhen everyone stayy iin class. i took some chairs and lie down to SLEEP.. nvr dream of anything. awhile bout 30mins, ii woke up liiao.haahaa.dhen saw chiwawa slpinqq. physics lesson oso no teacher. dunnoe where the cheng go... ii and ayunie went tuh find hiim iin the staff room but he was not dhere. guess that he had forgotten.. stayy iin class till 2.45pm and the bell go off, ayunie and i go out of the class to 4e2 to look for shulin to take the congrats card.

dhen went tuh bubble tea shop to buy bubble tea ][andd that iis of cuz][... went home and mummy cook fried curry noodle which iis reli dryy.. Oh my goshh.. can't reli swallow.=P dhen later going for piano lesson.

keith ytrd call me andd sayy that ii got iin for the channel u audition, but hweefang, jess and lynette din't get iin. keith wantedd me to take the main role, but bcuz of my voice][ii think iis bcuz abit of baby tone][ dhen they sayy ii cannort. so ii take the main role's good friend which is oso from J team derh lurh. dhen ii am oso a patient iin that show. hees.

life iis reli like a show or a movie. you will have to pretend everything. some things can be hidden, some things can't. when iit iis tyiime tuh stop hiddinq, iit will be revealed one dayy.. i believe that myy love, my waiiting will prove everythinq. ii believe iin myselff. =)

ii still wondering shld ii buy a present for shahrul??? haiis,

2007-05-22T18:08:00.000+08:00

todayy no lesson. cuz we are having our social ettiqutte lesson by other ppl from outside derh. went to coleman street dhere tu have our table manners done. the appertiizers is the breadd wiith butter and a soup. the soup sux. to me larhh, but some sayy the soup niice. EWWW.

dhen we hadd our main course. the chickenn niice larh, budden the sphagetti so cold andd hardd, taste yuckks. the drink - lemon tea oso no taste derhh... wad kindd of restaurant iis that???!!! BLOODY HELL... =p

last was the dessert-the ice cream wiith a chocolate cake. the ice cream with the chocloate tooping was nice, the cake was quite hardd, but oso quiite nice larhh.. the whole thing ii like was the breadd and ice-cream.

went backk school to continue the debriefting. dhen he came tuh our class tuh pass the teacherr in charge the overseas forms. nvr get tuh see hiim. ='(

he doesn't love me anymore, but ii will still continue tuh love hiim. he saiid he will still treat me as a friend. for me yes, treat me as a friend, ii treat yoo as a friend. but inside myy harrt ii still want to love yoo. =)

aftr schh went for dance. sebastian keep calling us "SENIORS". oh my gosh! we aren't that OLD... please dunn call us seniors. sommemore the iirritatingg thing is that the lidi iis so damn asshole. thiink she veryy biig. actuallyy yoo are just reli small iin the dance club. yoo dun hold anyy position iin the dance, yoo are 1 YEAR YOUNGER than us. RESPECT. the actions yoo give iis not respecting sebastian!!! mind the words yoo say and the actions yoo do.

went tuh the staff room to return radio to the dance teacherrs. dhen got this grp of malayy guys][lower sec][ keep caliing "sheevash".. guyys. yoo all are slow>>. ii andd hiim breakk 1 week liiao. dunn yoo all noe?? pls stop callinqq me that- even thou hear liiao quiite happy bcuz hiis name marhs. but cann yoo all think for hiim?? askk clearlyy next tyiime before yoo all sayy something OUT. goodness..

went home with beeqi, jaslyn,ayunie,crystalle. beeqi went backk and the four of us go buy bubble tea.. hees. went home and started bloggingg.

siian.... why whenever yoo wan tuh see a prsn that much, he won't appear, but when yoo hate a prsn, yoo will often see hiim?????

but for me, when ii want tuh see hiim, he will reli appear.. =) the reason mayybe ii am lookingg for hiim.haahaa. like todayy national anthem, ii did see hiim. HAHAHA... happy sheyy..
he told me that we won't get tuhgether anyymore, butii willing tuh waiit and tuh love hiim all byy myy harrt. he iis worth for me giving all myy love. but sorry tuh sayy: ALL GUYS SUX AND ARE FLIRTS EXCEPT SHEEVASH SHAHRUL. he will owaes be myy best guyy iin myy life. LOVE HIM TUH THE CORE!!!

2007-05-21T15:54:00.000+08:00

schoolingg as usual. wake up look at myy house andd iit iis damn cleann. mummy spendd the whole niite doinq housework. dhen me lehs?? hees. slpinqq liike a piig iin myy bedd.

went tuh sch as per normal. playy scissors paper stone with jaslyn, chiwawa, crystalle, yuniie andd alorrt more. cuzz ii thiinkinqq shouldd ii buyy bdayy present for hiim?? as he birhdayy reachinqq. hmmm...

afterr 2nd recess, went back for english. siian lurhh englishh. dhen go hall for wad spellinqq bee. dunno wadd iis that oso.haahaa. a english spelling competition. well, ii heardd that chiuhwa gorrt the 1st runner up. CONGRATZ. diin noe cuz ayuniie, crysatlle and i went to the class room. talk scaryy things.- just to scare ourselves. actually the main reason is goinqq to fiind hiim tuh askk hiim / talk clearly bout somethingg. but iin the endd, ii just realisedd thatt iit was myy problemm whichh ii diid not ask ppl well. MY FAULT.. =XX but ii guess iit was worthwhile, as ii can reli make clear myy feelinqqs for hiim. =P

went iinto 4T2 class dhen diin go for a maths class. askk hiim alorrt of thiinggs but he just nod or just look down.. well, ayuniie sayy ii shoutedd veryy loudd. DID II??? hees. dhen ayuniie oso sayy that some malay ppl oso sayy that the prsn iis just infront of me andd niid tuh shout mehs? OH GOSH.... ii dun liike shoutiinqq, make me feel malu and for hiim oso. but he just simplyy act like a mute or a deaf one. oh boy, saying: ii don't love you ANYMORE so diifficult mehs?? dhen i ask hiim tuh sayy he dunn like me liiao. he dhen keep quiiet. aiyoyoyo. but he sayy that he like me as a friendd andd he doesn't hate me. okayy. ii accept. jus say: don't love me liiao... well, iin the endd he saiid iit. WELL DONE. andd ii feel much more lighterr. ii walk off and he bang hiis legg on the door. haiiyoyo. ii wun do foolishh things. iif ii diie how am ii goiing tuh wait??!!!

thiis is the first tyime ii throw myy fon. ii could norrt bear to. myy fon ii just throw, just feel angryy. he saiid iit. ii okayy wiith iit. but ii still waiit. iif ii diie, how am ii goinqq tuh waiit? he keep sayinqq iit was me who wantedd tuh endd iit, yaa.he was riight. i agree. but told you: REGRETTED!!

leadiinq a new liife. stayiinq single... but ii relii waiit even thou he dun believe. fiine wiith me.. shiqi & jess: ii wiill believe wadd yoo all sayy tuh me :: TIME WILL PROVE EVERYTHING. ii believe iit too.=)

2007-05-20T19:43:00.001+08:00

wake up earlyy morninqq tuh go causeway point to meet those TCP ppl. there was shawn, yongming, junhong, marcus, dex, gary, jade, shiying, kaile, shiqi, xianhuan and me. went tuh republic poly tuh film. after filminqq was arndd 12pm. met christopher andd he gave me chocs- kinda brueno. =P

went tuh somerset to orchard andd we hadd our luchh dhere. jade andd ii hadd korean food forr luchh.. okay larhh. norrt relii dhat niice. overall quiite siian lurhh.=p but fun at tiimes.

walk all the wayy from dhere tuh marina square and to a place call dunnoe wadd bridge andd hadd foto takinqqs dhere. iit was windyy but hot too..

went backk tuh marina square by WALKING agaiin and eat. dhen awhiile, ii went home to woodlands. in the MRT, got thiis uncle came andd standd besiide me andd talk to me. hthe weirdd thing iis he noe how old ii am. exactly 15.haahaa. but iit was disgusting. staredd at me likke pervert. dhen keep talkinqq sayy wad: 12 yrs old gurl kena spike pills iin theiir drinks andd all sorrt. jus listen tuh hiim tok crapp andd nodd my head. haiiyo.dhen got one seat, he ask me siit downn. dunn thiink ii am stupiidd, iif siit down, confirm will see myy insiide. ii have a braiin okayys??!!! dhen ii toldd the uncle no and ask hiim to siit. he sayy cannort as he had cuts on his leg cannot siit. the worse thing iis he even pull up hiis pants and show me the cut. GOSH. yoo noe how disgusting?? dhen got this chinese guy keep lookinqq at me. yaa.he ask me tuh stand over to his side. dhen ii went over. thnks to him.=) but at that tyiime ii was just thinkinqq bout shahrul. but reli, if one day ii see him again, ii relii wanna thnks hiim for gettingg riid of that uncle. the chinese guy got down at Ang Mo Kio. the uncle was still smlinqq at me, andd ii got down at admiralty.

when down at control station, chengyuan call. dhen he say he is able tuh send me home. dhen ii went to the bus stop dhere andd he took me home iin hiis car.=) well, thnks cheng yuan.. ii no niid take bus home. or norrt veryy late liiao.=P

ytrd and todayy whole dayy nvrr msg shahrul. haiis. but ii love hiim even thou he dunn like me.
on the way to filminq, shiqi gorrt tell me that waiit iis waiit, let time prove everything. but life carrys on. when he is your mr right, you two will be back together. but bcuz he is not, that's why you will break as you are meeting your real mr right. she oso say, god made our fate. who are we with are oledi fatedd tuh be. =) well, iit iis kinda riight. thnks shiqi. but ii relii still wanna waiit for him.

hadd a dreamm last niite. dreamt that shahrul called me andd sayy sorryy. ii was havingg lesson at that tiime so couldn't ask whyy. so iinn the dream ii told hiim ii'll meet hiim behiind his class. but ii stiill dunnoe whyy he sayy sorryy. wadd does the dream tells?? ii am eagerr to know.
sorry bcuz he likedd another gurl?
sorry bcuz he hadd made me upset andd wanna patchh backk???
hope iis the 2nd one,. =xx
ii ratherr norrt tuh wake up as ii can see hiim. even thou iin myy dreams.
][ honestly, before sleepinq ytrd, ii keep sayiinqq hiis name so that ii can slp.][
dreams give us hints. hope that the dream ii made iis a good one.
pray that he wun't findd another gurl, but after hiis N level, ii can still be wiith hiim. =)

II WAIIT.trulyy waiit for him.=))

2007-05-18T20:09:00.001+08:00

national anthem that tyiime was so happy. myy headd keep turnn tuh my left diagonal siide as iit will be directinqq facinqq hiim. thou can't be tuhgetherr, ii feel gladd seeinqq hiim lerhh. =)

physics periodd dhat tyime, ii suddenlyy thiink boutt hiim damn muchh. sadds. ayuniie msgedd hiim andd askk hiim tuh come talk tuh me. ii was paiisehh andd myy heartt beat so fast like LRT.
dhen he andd some frens walk pass our class andd the feeliinqq when ii saw hiim was terrible. wat kindd of feelinqq ii dunno lurhh.dhen went to com lab tuh do science survey.

aftrr schh, ayunie and lynette went tuh findd hiim at hiis class. my harrt iis liike dropiinqq out,
but iin the end, he say he dun like me liiao. ii agree tuh hiis desicion anyywayy. but ii wun giive up.tiime prove EVERYTHING.inculde love.=)

aftr that went for audition. met lynette at vista and then we too cab down. talk tuh the taxi uncle alorrt. he was kindd and sociable. not liike some uncles that giive us faces. haahaa.

reachh city hall dhen waiit for jess and hwee fang. dhen met they two lerh we went to eat cake at cartel cafe. hweefang nvr eat. so skinyy liiao still nvr eat. dhen we waiitedd for crystalle, hanwei and jun cai. dhey so long dhen come.

took bus down to oxley road. dhen pass by liang court, and that was the place eric used to work.heex.reachh dhere, the place liike so ulu. scaredd scaredd. went iin, iit was air conditionedd. cool. straight away head tuh the toilet.haahaa. the toilet was cool man, still got paintings derh lurhh. so artistic.. =p.

ii and hweefang went iin for the audition fiirst, folo by jess and lynette. for jess and lynette and the othe girl, ii be their opposiite characters. funn and niice.

wel, hope we all get a chance tuh get iin. love~

ii waiit till yoo come backk. all ii nedd and love iis yoo.

2007-05-17T22:02:00.000+08:00

upload wadd we took todayy @ sentosa.
all tuhgetherr took 54 pics.
uploadiinqq the niicer ones. =P

handle love wiith care,
_____________________________________________________________________________

hopinqq thiis dayy wouldd come againn. ='(

2007-05-17T15:28:00.001+08:00

todayy went sentosa for maths trail.
siiann... at there playy nvr do workk.haahaa/
took lorrts of photo..=p zii liian/
photo uploadd laterr.

luckkyy todayy not iin schh.
so nvrr see hiim.
otherrwiise,, will cryy derh.

well, ii toldd mr heng that duriinqq parents meeting,dun twll mummyy bout hiim andd me.
ii dun wan hiim tuh get iinto trouble or me oso as mummy dunn like me wiith a malayy.
even though he iis a malay,,
but ii still love hiim alorrt. let tiime heal myy pains awayy.
but ii still waiit for hiim. no matter how long. =D
ppl sayy ii stupiidd, sayy ii cann fiindd a new one, better dhan hiim.
but to me, he is near tuh perfect.
myy harrt onlyy want tuh go tuh hiim. haahaa.

lyfe iis damn boriing. tmrr goiing to oxley road dhere for audition.
saii lurhh. dun even noe the place well.
so aftr sch straight away rush home and get change.
gd luckk tuh me bahhs.

thiinkiinqq, duriing his bdayy shld ii buy hiim anyythinqq?
okayy. thiink fiirst lurhh.=) MOST PROBABALY.

2007-05-16T21:44:00.000+08:00

well, ii guess ii am okayy lerhh.
waiitiingg is a matterr.
jess iis ryte. ii must learn tuh draw a liine between studiies andd relationshiip.
thnks jess.=)

well, ii guess iit iis pointless byy cutting myselff,
ii am the one feeliinqq the paiin.
might as well ii stayy happy and come backk tuh normal.
haahaa. stayy home rot.

crystalle oso nvr go sch.3 dayys liiao. nottii.. dhen she and hanweii keep askinqq me go out wiith juncaii.
at that tyiime ii don't even habb the mood.
mummie ask me tuh some counting of bills for herr.
siiann.. ii toldd stalle that ii don't want tuh go iin a relationnshiip
it iis hurting enuff.
][ii tiink onlyy he can heal myy hart.=xx][

at nite, a guy call. ii thot was who sheyy.
cheyy. it was a guy by the name of keith.
he hadd hiis ownn companyy derh.
dhen he say thiis fri gorrt audition for channel U..
he ask me whether ii wan go anort.
haahaaa.. ii am goiingg. =)

fail my chem andd geog.
shit lars.
ii must studdy harrd liiao..
cannot continue liidat
otherwise scaredd nxt yr retaiin.

2007-05-16T09:47:00.000+08:00

nvr go skool.
foundd DEAD at home.
dunn wiishh tuh see hiim..

iif these cuts hurrts., wadd ii feel iinsiide iis miiliion tiimes more paiinful than tiis.

2007-05-15T15:50:00.000+08:00

dun wan see hiim he keep appeariingg.
see hiim ii feel like cryiing..
listen songs oso thiink of hiim..
lost hiim oledi dhen noe how much ii love hiim.
so siian iin class and cut myselff.
prevent myyself from swollen eyes buy putting eyeliners.
smille to act as iif ii am happy and fiine.
wann tuh stabb myselff jus tuh let my heart beat stop.
stop bcuz of hiim.. dunnwanna thiink of hiim..
but he jus can't get off myy miindd.
wad glue hadd been put on to stuck hiim onto myy miindd.

wiiliing tuh waiit...

2007-05-14T15:34:00.001+08:00

I ended wiith tears.
well, mostly iis wadd ii caused thiis tuh happenn.
in sch SUPER mooddy. feel likke dyiing and crying out LOUDD.
score badly... real badd.

english- 27/50
chinese- 89/160
biology- 47/100
emaths- 77/100
amaths- 54/100

RACHEL.. haiiss.
fiirst recess ii was damn sadd.
after 2nd recess was englishh. diin went for class.
stayy iin the toilet and cryy and cryy.
ii feel stupidd. well, ii learn tuh let go.
he iis a nice guy. ii shld not cling onto hiim.
let iit be RACHEL.

RACHEL,<--- u sux.
GO and die and look at the mirror wiith the swollen eyes yoo habb.
yoo look uglyy. please larhh.
yoo habb tuh move on..

ii noee ii hadd tuh move on.
but,, ii relii love hiim.
iis that infactuation or love?

cryy cryy cry
all yoo noe iis that,,
STUPIDD.

ii guess ii waiit.
waiit till he say he like miie.
WATEVER/

uploadd some photos...

huisi.me.hweefang jie.henghui

huisi & miie

hweefang jiie and miie, ii love herr<33

thiis iis wadd ii do todayy.cry out LOUD

2007-05-13T16:51:00.000+08:00

woohooo... todayy went tuh RP for TCP audition.
haahaa. nervous. wake up at 9am,
went tuh CWP tuh meet hweefang jiie, shijing and heng hui.
dhen oso wiith 2 guys, marcus and xiao ben. another gurl-hui si.
walk all the way frm CWP to RP...

rehearse frm 11am to 1-2pm...
dhen myy turnn... scaredd.
dhen gorrt one of the "oldest" judges ask me what iis my waiist.
ii stun lurhh... dhen theyy sayy he iis channel U producer.
dhen ii sayy my waist and numberr, he say he will contact me.

resulst announce andd ii gorrt the highest score.
feel contented. happy...
iit is jus like a dream for me.

for hweefang jiie,shijing and heng hui,
yoo gurls diid pretty well. =)
ii love yoo.

veryy tiredd. want to go slp lerhh.
tata

2007-05-12T18:37:00.000+08:00

tmrr auditiion liiao.. hmmm.. NERVOUS**

siian siia. he* whole dayy nvr msgg or call miie/
everythiinq change aftr we steadd. haiis.
FCUKiinqq feeliing of mine.

so borredd. went out andd bought some 2 tops and 1 bottom. haahaa.
no moneyy liiao. summore go buy 1 nike waterbottle for meii.
siia larhh.. quiite expensive for 1 stupidd waterbottle.
aiyyaa.but lonqq tyiime nvr buyy thinqqs for her liiao.
heex. at sportslink saw someone. ermm..
norrt ii want tuh sayy. but...
iit iis quiite disgustinqq lurhh.
liike ii veryy noe hiim.
EEeeeeewwwww,,,,
still call miie by whistliinqq. so buay hiao bai.
to me, he is just an asshole. FLIRT. humji summore.
a CON??? heex.
A relationship liiar.bastadd.
haahaaa/ myy hatredd for hiim is damn deep.
the way he treatedd hiis GF. the wayy he bastard his GF,
haiiss.. just pityy hiis GF niia. =D

exerciise just noww.. funn.haahaa.but whole bodyy paiin norr.

must practise scripts.
ornort juncai dun let me slp. =Xx

II FEEL LIKE BREAK UP.. ii am sufferiinqq iin tiis relationshiipp. =(
help me please. help me get OUT.
iis iit that onlyy hiim* cann do so?
iif that's iis,
where iis he*?

thx all the sweetiies andd myy guys who at dhere jiia you miie.
love all of yoo.

2007-05-11T09:58:00.000+08:00

morning.
keke. he* paiid hiis* fon bill liiao.
but, ii n hiim* are norrt reli dhat happyy.
he* saiid thiis final yrr he* iis veryy stress.
bcuz of miie?? iif that iis so,
ii can owaes let hiim* stop this relationshiip.
cuzz ii noe ii am owaes the problemm.
ii understandd.thiis yrr hiis* N level.
ii shldd less disturbb hiim*.
let everythinqq be as it, SAD**.

siian arhhs..
exams over liiao so wadd??
mummyy don let me go out.
HELL.. stayy home and cleann shiit mehss?
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...

boriingg. ii guess we won't be talkiing dhat muchh liiao.
ppl sayy when a couple talk less, they miiss eachh othrr more.
yaa. for me, iit diid.][abiit][ but hiim*??
ii dunnoe??? hmm...

todayy no schh. marking dayy.
BORING ahh at home..

2007-05-10T14:54:00.001+08:00

yoo cann see how boriinqq am ii.. hmm... 1 day post 2 blogg.
well, ii hate lyfe relii.
iit all startedd thiis yrr. ii am tiiredd of iit.
liife is a alive torturiingg jobb.
ate 2 hersheys in 1 tyiime. FAT liiao.
tmrr dunnoe mummyy let me out norrt.
cuz dhat tyiime nvr studyy went out playy
dhen kena scolded byy her.. siian...
cuz actuallyy crystalle gorrt sayy we go bedok see JunCai do hiis CSO.
AHGRRR..
nthh tuh tok tuh hiim**
where he iis now ii oso no iidea./
yaa. wadevaa. ii waiit, you don come.
ii don waiit you will say thiis and dhatt.
CRAPS*

listeniin tuh thiis song : hao xin hao bao.
relii make me thiink of eriic.
wanna cryy. smiile? weiirdd feeliings developed.
ii dun sayy that ii still have feeliings for hiim.
part of my memoriies.songg.

ii ask myyself,
ii andd hiim* compatible anorrt?
iis there anyything miisiing??
we could be veryy close for now,
a dayy laterr, we liike strangers.
wad kindd of fcukiing relatiionshiip thiis iis??
or ii am just beiing stubbornn????
well, ii sometyiime feel liike one biig fcuk.
walk round and round giiviing andd throwiing myy temper.
do we need a stop for thiis???
ii noe yoo diid sayy thiis iis onlyy miid-yrr,
wad iif ur n level comes?

FOR GOD SAKE, even iif reli yoo haviing ur n level,
you can't be studyiing for 12hrs and slping for 12hrs ryte??
not sayingg anyythiing.
just don wiish tuh quarrel or even tuh think bout yoo,,
I AM NOT HAPPY AT ALL.